infomodder: IF YOU'LL FEAST ON MINE (Default)
2020-04-30 09:56 am

¡¡¡uoıʇɐƃıʌɐu




Graham, Will
Accidental cannibal turned actual cannibal, dog lover, and temporary badge-holding teacher.



hmd | opt-out | permissions | visuals | visuals s2 | visuals s3 | sick beats

[community profile] asgardeventide (NO LONGER IN GAME): app | basics | cr chart | inbox
[community profile] maskormenace: app | basics | cr chart | hook, line, & tinker | inbox | instagram | IMPORT FAQ | the house | visuals

Need to reach me? Drop me a PM! Seriously, please please please never feel nervous if you need to contact me about anything! I'm very big on communication. If you want to work out CR or make future plans, let's do it! Same goes for if anything happens in tag that's not clear or wrong, I'll get back to you ASAP.

And a note: you don't have to message me or feel the need to get "permission" to drop something in his IC inbox. Just go ahead and have at it, feel completely free to drop whatever, whenever!
infomodder: that's how i got mugged the third time (and i'm all virginia represent)
2018-11-10 07:25 pm

How's My Design?



Is there something I'm doing with Will you think is off? Do you have questions about anything you'd like me to answer? Do you have any constructive criticism for me? This is the place to do it! Anon is enabled, ip logging is off.
infomodder: where my corpses at (just chillin in the crime lab)
2017-11-10 08:01 pm
Entry tags:

opt-out



Will comes from a canon that includes cannibalism and lots of horrible murders and other really not happy things that might make people uncomfortable. These subjects can and will come up, be it in introspection or, eventually, dialogue. It isn't everyone's cup of tea, and I understand. If you'd like to opt out of playing with Will, comment here with your accounts and I won't tag them. Additionally, if you'd rather not interact with me personally for whatever reason, please use this post as well so I can respect those boundaries.

All comments are screened.
infomodder: my eyes are down here (hanni i stg)
2016-11-10 08:05 pm
Entry tags:

IC Contact [Asgard]




Catch all IC contact post for Will Graham at [community profile] asgardeventide
[ Text | Voice | Video | Action ]

[Note: Will is unlikely to use video unless there is a good need for it. He'd be more inclined to do text until he's made a substantial recovery and becomes more comfortable with voice.]
infomodder: stop asking my favorite scary movie (hello this is dramatic doge)
2016-04-14 08:35 pm
Entry tags:

IC contact [Mask or Menace]



"Gone fishing."

[ so don't leave messages to ruin the after fishing glow !!!

your one stop shop for not leaving him alone
]
infomodder: i've seen some shit but i was knot prepared for that (just found omegaverse fanfics)
2015-11-25 03:19 pm

(no subject)

APRIL 2014


14 • [ POST ] • [ Link ] Network introduction, news and pets. April Ludgate is a vampire queen. Frederick Chilton gets a deal. Abel Gideon gives medical expertise about aspirin and partakes in tasteless jokes. Danger assumes he's from Baltimore. Kate Bishop is a werehamster.
17 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Kenzi had plans with Frederick Chilton. He didn't show. She found a bloody mess in his office. HE'S ONLY BEEN HERE THREE DAYS GUYS. GUYS!!
20 (blaze it) • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Frederick Chilton and Abel Gideon return. Will assumes the worst. Dr. Chilton gets another deal. Dr. Gideon reminds Will he's a crap shot even from two inches away. Two doctors, one profiler, such buddies.
28 • [ LOG ] • [ Link ] Ace. Will almost steals a talking, sentient werehusky. We're starting things off right here, as you can tell.


MAY 2014


05 • [ BUFFET ] • [ Link ] Dr. Chilton is a shit to some guy named Hans. Shut up they were hilarious together.
08 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Christine Stanford. Discussion of Maurtia Falls and adulthood.
09 • [ LOG ] • [ Link ] Danger wants to talk...about Dr. Chilton and Dr. Gideon. Will's glad not to be the center of conversation and indulges. More or less.
13 • [ BUFFET ] • [ Link ] Kate Bishop drops some deets about Captain Holiday, the Porter, and the government in general.
18 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Dogbreath gets in trouble for trying to hack the government. Anyone who is surprised or upset by this is an actual idiot.
20 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Annie Leonhart asks after the least responsible adults around. Will denies the urge to jump into the fray with Dr. Chilton and Dr. Gideon or implicate himself, so he defaults to Lucifer. He had no idea this would kick off a relationship he still thinks of with nothing but fondness.
21 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Skye is from a world of six Avengers and mistaken about dogs. Can't Will take on just one student?
25 • [ LOG ] • [ Link ] Skye. Tech mania. Sparkly gel pens. People watching. Math!
29 • [ POST ] • [ Link ] Open log. First time meeting Sasha. I learned not to make open logs frequently because something something trash.

JUNE 2014


02 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] A tiny cannibal appears. Will feels like a failure. Because he is one.
02 • [ BUFFET ] • [ Link ] Yuri Petrov's first address to the Network. Will didn't make much notice at the time considering, well, a tiny cannibal had appeared.
04 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Freddie Lounds appears. That's it, that's all the description you need. Also of note is the thread with Skye, which got jacked and features a good ol' Lounds vs. Graham yowling catfight.
09 • [ LOG ] • [ Link ] Freddie Lounds and Will Graham fall into a pool at the swear-in together. Kates and I predicted the show in one thread.
10 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Skye births an Instagram clone. Instagraham births a shark.
14 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Danger and Father's Day.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ • [ LOG ] • [ Link ] Annie doesn't get why killing young women is worse than killing anyone else. Friendship can only come from this.

JULY 2014


10 • [ BUFFET ] • [ Link ] Mabel Pines is adorable.
12 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Freddie Lounds is a quitter who would like to see Will in orange.
12 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Hannibal and Will being good friends to the only friend they have.
16 • [ POST ] • [ Link ] Network post. Sharks have been caught.
24 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Forever Jung with Frederick Chilton.
28 • [ BUFFET ] • [ Link ] Mitch seeks change.

AUGUST 2014


01 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] ABIGAIL HOBBS ABIGAIL HOBBS ABIGAIL HOBBS arrives; Will is in the middle of moving to De Chima but like hell that's gonna stop him from going to see her in the hospital and bring goodies (and Gunther). There are tears and hugs and Will starts off dad duties agreeing to go to Abigail's swear-in and doing a piss poor job putting her new scarf on her. Abigail eventually falls asleep and Will leaves at the request of the hospital.
12 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Lunatic be like "yo I got some mental problems" and Will be like "NEW FRIEND YEEHAW!"
14 • [ BUFFET/THREAD ] • [ Link ] Grapevine post about notable incidents at the ceremony. Karen isn't fat, Will gets to have drinks with Freddie.
17 • [ BUFFET ] • [ Link ] Lucifer no.
DAYNUMBER • [ TYPE ] • [ Link ] NAME. DESCRIPTION.

SEPTEMBER 2014


13 • [ BUFFET ] • [ Link ] Doctor Dinosaur is incredible.
19 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Troy is also incredible.
DAYNUMBER • [ TYPE ] • [ Link ] NAME. DESCRIPTION.
DAYNUMBER • [ TYPE ] • [ Link ] NAME. DESCRIPTION.
DAYNUMBER • [ TYPE ] • [ Link ] NAME. DESCRIPTION.


THE SAGA OF APRIL AND WILL


04/14/2014 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] She was the first person to speak to him just after he arrived. Set the tone for future talks to be interesting.
07/17/2014 • [ THREAD ] • [ Link ] Will promises to name a shark after April. Her mention of sexual tension (even hypothetically) catches him off guard, but he gets her anyway. And the getting is good.
08/01/2014 • [ GIFT ] • [ Link ] Before moving to De Chima, Will leaves April a present.
08/02/2014 • [ INBOX ] • [ Link ] April contacts Will about the gift because Who else would leave a shark t-shirt in a dog card? Will's slightly more balanced twin brother? They find out that despite any weirdness they can apparently talk forever.
08/12/2014 • [ INBOX ] • [ Link ] Will's house gets destroyed. He texts April for a place to crash.
09/03/2014 • [ INBOX ] • [ Link ] April checks in and finds out Will isn't good at fake smiles. Truths about orange jumpsuits and ears in the sink are revealed in the midst of marriage talk and Will volunteering to come over on the weekends instead of moving in. April reacts favorably to the idea of sharing her bed and Will changes the weekend plan to showing up in twenty minutes. With food.
09/03/2014 • [ LOG ] • [ Link ] Will stops by with food, as ordered. April impersonates Natasha from Rocky & Bullwinkle and Will is quickly a goner in the face of such flawless seduction.
09/18/2014 • [ INBOX ] • [ Link ] Will catches the first April shark and asks permission to take a weekend off so he and Abigail can have time together. He invites April to their next shark-catching adventure and she agrees as long as she can take him on a mystery trip.
09/23/2014 • [ INBOX ] • [ Link ] April confirms the date for mystery trip and they decide to move into a monogamous relationship.
09/25/2014 • [ LOG ] • [ Link ] April comes around for the abduction and Will grosses her out with his love of live bait. She blindfolds him to the Porter, they don't make out on the train because Will's horrified Hannibal might find out, and April takes them to an art show. Angler fish trash art is a feature. Will gives her some non-horrifying details about the mating process in that particular breed. EAR is one hell of a spoiled raccoon.
10/18/2014 • [ INBOX ] • [ Link ] Will asks if April wants crabs.
DAYNUMBER • [ TYPE ] • [ Link ] NAME. DESCRIPTION.
DAYNUMBER • [ TYPE ] • [ Link ] NAME. DESCRIPTION.
DAYNUMBER • [ TYPE ] • [ Link ] NAME. DESCRIPTION.
DAYNUMBER • [ TYPE ] • [ Link ] NAME. DESCRIPTION.
DAYNUMBER • [ TYPE ] • [ Link ] NAME. DESCRIPTION.
infomodder: actually being a raging douchebag, no one is surprised (lookin like a qt)
2015-09-27 12:01 pm
Entry tags:

casa ludgate-graham

 photo tru_zps2kmtwlsp.jpg


Located in Heropa, the house is two story. The front yard's most prominent feature (in the way that Will cares about it more than everything else) is a dogwood tree. There's a garden all about, rose bushes and various other flowering plants. Moonflower from Raina stretches along the back of the house. As for the inside, there are walkways all over for the raccoons, cats, whatever feels like climbing about (see this video for a good idea of those additions). Everything else, really, follow your dreams. We'll Rose Madder this house if we have to. Buy out the house behind or next to them and let it grow, etc. There's nothing too expensive or outrageous, it's a normal house aside from all the animals and, arguably, some of the people who live there. And speaking of the animals other than the raccoon posse, here's a (current) list:


Digby - Yes that Digby. Thank you April!
 photo Pushing_Daisies.1x04.Pigeon.HDTV.XviD-Caph.avi_000159659_zpsaiiildrv.jpg

Grundy - April's cat, look at this beautiful face and despair.
 photo grundy_zpsqgmpvhvg.jpg

Gunther - Will's first dog here. Trained well enough to sit and stay at the bait shop with him. The handsome bearded blunder.
 photo gunther_zps3wtrr06o.jpg

Ziggy - Abigail's cat. She is named after the Ziggy you're thinking of. Dark stray Will found hanging around the bait shop. Loves attention.
 photo ziggy_zpsku7kyi6k.jpg

Sharkbait - Bulldog Will rescued and April named. Has taken to Jeff like Jeff was his rescuer. May give your legs some much needed affection.
 photo sharkbait_zpsseb7owra.jpg

Bark - Thomas and Grey's doggie. Look at that face.
 photo bark_zpselz1oq4q.jpg

Charlie - Shiba Inu Will picked up in honor of Freddie (because of the lightning event). But he can't name her Freddie, so he went with Charlie instead.
 photo charlie_zpskfrdyccx.jpg

Mitch-bot and Old Eddie - Two teddy bear hamsters Will got to lift April's spirits. Put them in rodent balls and watch them go. If you forgot you did, the raccoons won't.
 photo mitchandeddie_zpsgmlkhogm.jpg

Sir Samson Fluffington the Third of Floof-upon-Tweed - Abigail's guardian dog the size of a pony. You can call him Sam, but respect his knight status.
 photo Tt0oCdP_zpsckfjbcla.jpg




Now since there's quite a few of us I thought it would be a good idea to fill out a little about our characters. And if there's anything you want to add on in the future—housemate, new pet, WHATEVER—comment here and I'll toss it in!


Player: tell me who are you, you, you, you, youuuuuuuuuuuuu
Character: Name, p. simple
Job: What it says on the tin.
Daily Routine: Anything of note? Any places in the house they're most likely to be found in? Do they wake up early or late, have a specific diet? Anything that may be noticed by others in the house, for reference later on. Do they hang around the house in yoga pants and a t shirt, do they like to dress up, do they have a habit of beating the shit out of everyone in Monopoly or Scrabble, favorite shows or books, etc. etc.
Anything else? Do you have an idea of what their room is like you want to share, maybe? Additional details of whatever you want go here!
infomodder: stop asking my favorite scary movie (hello this is dramatic doge)
2015-09-12 01:24 pm
Entry tags:

ic contact 2 mask or menace




"Gone fishing."

[ so don't leave messages to ruin the after fishing glow !!!

your one stop shop for not leaving him alone, previous contact post can be found here ]
infomodder: today i ate expired cheese and people talked to me. i hate everything. (dear lj)
2015-08-23 02:08 pm
Entry tags:

import faq

[ooc. This is a copy of Kate Bishop's FAQ featuring additional bits added by Will, with permission from our former Kate player ([personal profile] selfequipped). If there are grammatical errors or information included you're confused about, it is highly likely a player mess up. So in that vein, if you have any questions or concerns about this, feel free to shoot me a message.]

LAST UPDATED: 08/23/2015

(Will Graham here. Kate Bishop wrote a helpful FAQ for imPorts in her time here. Now that she's no longer with us, it feels a shame to let all her hard work in this matter go to waste, so I've drawn up a direct reproduction of what Ms. Bishop put together. I have gone through and added information she didn't have the chance/time to. All of my personal contributions will be marked in parenthesis and ended with my initials. I also advise thoroughly reading the brochure you were given upon arrival. If anything in it is difficult to understand, ask, but read it all. I would also encourage taking a look at this as well. —WG)

Hello everyone! I'm Kate Bishop. This is your friendly "wow, I'm in another world" FAQ version 4.0.

The first thing I insist upon is this: take most of what you learned in your file and from the government upon your arrival as fact. You are in a new world. You can't go home for the time being. You do have superpowers. You do have a choice over whether you register or choose not to register. They recommend that you live in one of four cities. They did give you a job. You're not required to be a superhero, and you're not required to do anything aside from work your job and be a decent citizen.


PREAMBLE )

REGISTRATION AND JOBS )

THE TATTOO, NANITES, POWERS, AND YOU )

HEROISM )

THE POLITICAL SITUATION, PART ONE: THIS WORLD AND YOU )

THE POLITICAL SITUATION, PART TWO: OUR ENEMIES )

MYTHOLOGY )
infomodder: a friend with weed is better but hannibal is SOOOO straight edge ugh (but you gotta have frieeeends)
2015-06-09 04:36 pm
Entry tags:

cr chart 2: coding nightmare boogaloo

= sorry about the mess = what is happening here = you can leave whenever = friendship
= ownership (both ways) = i really really really really really really like you = family
= ABSOLUTELY NOT = congratulations! you are abigail hobbs


cross-canon.

"i dont want to be alone ."

GREY.

How else does anyone meet their girlfriend's adopted human puppy other than not being aware of said adopted human puppy until he comes climbing to her window while one is having relations of an intimate nature with one's girlfriend? That's how it happens for everyone, right?
Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best initial meeting, stumbling out in April's jacket and all, but Grey proved that free food is a great motivator for just about everybody and it turned out all right in the end. He's even leaving boiled eggs at the window! No idea who trained him in that one, but whatever. Boiled eggs are great.
And who better to keep a secret than the boy who cannot actually speak? Grey came from some awfully cramped world, according to everything Will's heard about it. Time to go out on the ocean, all the space anyone could ever want!
Grey has proven himself a sincerely kind and loyal person, in Will's eyes. Not just because of how he treats April or himself or Abigail, but overall. They work in the garden together, and Will considers Grey another member of the household. He might not live with them just yet, but if that changed, he would not at all be surprised or find it intrusive. Grey's lost someone he felt extremely close to here in the world of heroes. Even if Will didn't know how absolutely soul-crushing isolation could be when it wasn't wanted, it wouldn't change anything. Grey's proven himself and has earned a place at their table, no doubt about it.

[personal profile] kinesia


"So you wanted to swap deets for booze."

LOKI (the HIPSTER VIKING).

One of the Wonder Twins when it comes to stockpiling information about this place, more evidence that gods are pains in the ass. But as long as there is no teacup shattering going on, it's tolerable.
Bring on the goat booze!
Will sucks at manipulation when faced with someone who's much better at manipulation than he is, or is aware enough of how some people can be. He does not yet know about Loki's conversation with Miles Edgeworth, but if he did? He'd be flattered. Trash prince senpai noticed him! (◕‿◕✿)

[personal profile] selfimage


"Do you consider yourself a monster?"

RAINA.

A charming woman who seems to find beauty in most everything she sees and doesn't at all mind sharing her talents when it comes to crafting flowers out of nothingness. She made a larkspur for Will when they met at a Swear-In (and he pretended not to know who she was at all), which he's kept to press as a bookmark and isn't going to tell anyone without circumstances being dire. Nor is he going to ever reveal why he asked for larkspur to Raina herself and hopefully she won't ever figure it out or be told.
Flowers are not without their thorns, however, and helping them grow strong and beautiful does not happen if one does not get dirty. Getting dirty doesn't necessarily have to mean the dirt Will's accustomed to, though tying herself to Chilton has perked his interest more than he'd like to admit and more than he wants to let show.
He's going to wait and see what she finds out from everybody's blood, if anything of actual merit even crops up
Crops up. It's funny because plants!

[personal profile] flowerette


"All'a those are terrible. No wonder Martians ban puns."

RED.

Red is a breath of fresh air who came in singing the sweetest tune Will's heard in a long time: y'all.
An independent spirit, a proactive nature, and an openness to new things dressed in a what's almost a vision of heaven, honestly. Will can't help but find her commitment to being herself instead of floundering to fit in impressive (not that he'll say it; his opinion shouldn't mean shit and it's not called for). She's interested in learning about where she's landed, this world away from Mars, but she doesn't seem inclined to change who she is despite that cowboy hat making her stick out like a sore thumb.
She could read him the phone book and he'd be a rapt audience. Hopefully she's yet to come across Big Red gum. Hopefully she never does.

[personal profile] redplainsrider


"...your true love: playing "Sexual Healing" to worms."

STAR-LORD.

April and Will own two hamsters thanks to Star-Lord's face, but it's perhaps best he never knows considering they were bought as a gift to cheer up a very sad April. Mitch-Bot and Old Eddie made a great addition to the house and wouldn't have ever been brought in if not for Star-Lord twisting the knife in April's soul, so...seems better if he remains unaware.
A music buff who's stuck in an older time period, which Will almost thinks of a blessing. The good old of days of music, when rock was rock! Metal was metal! Get off his lawn!
Star-Lord mentioned being "the other woman" when Jeff approached him about joining their gym adventures, but hopefully that never comes across as true. There is an oddness to this Lord of the Stars that's entirely refreshing for Will. His sense of humor about how to promote mating in live bait and his ability to remain calm under the pressure of poor guitarists playing the same tune repeatedly work in his favor to make him seem approachable and on a more even keel than many who've been through (like Will, for starters). That's the sort of guy everyone should have on speed dial, and not because his abs are out of this world. He feels worth knowing and hanging around. Just not at his and April's place.
(Sorry bro.)

[personal profile] nostalgiabomb


"If it'll help, I'm happy to."

KAIDAN ALENKO.

If Freddie ever gets herself murdered here and Kaidan doesn't come after Will in some form or fashion, he will be offended.
WELP.
Shockingly, for how handsome Kaidan is, when he pulls that sad face, Will's drawn to the puppy appeal over anything else. Go figure.

[personal profile] kanadian


"... Did you take a picture?"

KATE BISHOP.

One of the Wonder Twins when it comes to information about here. Kate is an impressive individual and, fortunately, broadcasts that. Unfortunately, some of her smarts got transferred to figuring out what the hell was up with the Baltimore crew in regards to Chilton and Will had to do what he could to prevent it from going any further. It's not technically lying when he's just throwing himself under the bus because of how terrible a witness he'd be! As far as he knows, she's dropped it. He hopes it stays that way. It needs to stay that way.
He will make her more pies as offering.
He should actually do more than pies. Poor Kate Bishop keeps getting sent down rabbit trails by Baltimore, even when they don't mean to do just that. Will can't tell anyone outside of a very, very small group of people that he knows who ran about in Freddie Lounds' skin, but he'd blabbed his mouth about it to Kate Bishop before he had those details. So now he's torn on how to deal with it, should it come again. He should bring it up. He should tell her something.
He's half tempted to tell her it's probably best to just ignore Baltimore's people, including him. They only end up wasting her time and giving her headaches and she does not at all deserve it.

[personal profile] selfequipped


"I guess I wonder what kind of person I'll be afterwards."

SASHA BLOUSE.

Will stood to the side when he saw great evil happening in a grocery store, and came out of it pretty unscathed. He came out of meeting Sasha, too, so maybe he'll let people slash up grocery store displays more often. But Sasha didn't seem to realize eating and running while still in the store wasn't taken to very well, and helped serve as a bigger wake up call to the fact of the matter that some of the worlds here were very different. She asks him about plenty he takes for granted and he does his best to help out where he can. The enjoyable part of that is when he ends up doing research on his own and finds out that, well, look at that, watermelons are actually a type of berry. Sasha learns a thing or two from Will and, in one way or another, Will ends up learning just as much.
So when she issues an invitation to a potluck with people, he's going and he's going on his best behavior. Not to make friends, but to not be that guest who ends up reflecting poorly on the host.
He doesn't think she'll screw him up for it (though she probably could)—it's just good manners, isn't it? Sasha's earned some good manners.
Sasha asked if Will would stand in as her legal guardian, and he was quick to say yes. Now that Abigail Hobbs has left, Will's started to shift a bit onto Sasha. She even hunts! What could go wrong?
Plenty could go wrong. Sasha's world is near the top of the list of worlds Will has absolutely no interest in seeing for himself. Apparently Sasha has issues with people she knows being out of time, too, and knowing more than she's experienced. A phone call wherein he didn't agree with Crane's (he better back off) ideas of monsters and humanity led to quite a conversation that Will had not expected to ever get into with Sasha, of all people.
He needs to have another one with her, though how to start it is (surprise!) something of a problem. She was polite enough to Ken the next time they spoke in public, but he'll be a shitty legal guardian and friend and officer if he doesn't actually do what he said he would.
Adult life is so hard.

[personal profile] huntergames


"That is some shit."

ELSA BRANDT.

Ah, Elsa. Beautiful, foul-mouthed Elsa. Elsa Elsa Elsa. Eat a Snickers, you're not yourself when you're surrounded by men losing their minds.
Will can't help but be interested in someone flaunting an underwater car that happens to run on water instead of gas. He simply can't, especially not after he lost the ability to breathe underwater. But what was initially a rather normal conversation turned into something dark and full of terrors, though their food discussion did give Will something new to try. A new breakfast food, maybe he can get Abigail to embrace her power and everyone can enjoy egg pancakes.
Everything changed when he stopped by De Chima 002, his old stomping grounds, in the hopes of leaving Mike Parker a freezer full of fresh fish and a note if he wasn't around. Mike wasn't there at first, but Elsa was! Naked. Bloody. Freshly back from the...magical ritual of...anyway, not important. What started out as a rather normal conversation, the situation being what it was, escalated with the arrival of a naked Matthew Lin and a shirtless Mike Parker who had simply had enough of the weird shit going on. Which is really saying a lot, taking into account who they used to live with.
So now Elsa's seen one of the powers Will kept closer to his chest at first. He'd been tempted to ask her about how to control shadows, if she had any experience with them...sort of feels a little awkward at this point.
Oh well, Dorian Gray totally knows what he's talking about.

[personal profile] enustari


"Shame is a soul-eating emotion, you know."

JONATHAN CRANE.

From "another psychiatrist" to coworker, Will doesn't really find too much off about the good Doctor Crane here. In fact, when faced with Miles Edgeworth's dilemma about finding a psychiatrist, he shuffled him off to Crane. The guy specializes in anxiety, and Will knows very well what Frederick Chilton specializes in. He's a fan of Jung, fine, whatever. It can't be that bad, though, can it? Might be up to something with Chilton, but Will doesn't know for certain. He has, unfortunately, been the recipient of messages Will intended for April. He was a good sport about it, and if he ever feels lonely, he can look back and see that somebody loves him. That's nice, isn't it? Will's favorite game whenever they're in the same building for work is seeing how long he can restrain himself from stopping by and being a shithead. He's basically Zeller at this point. Oops.
OOPS.
OOPS!?!??!
NO WHY
Totally up to something with Chilton, and that something was torture. Everything happens so much, it really does. So now Will's stuck, knowing without knowing (and possibly shuffled out of the know), calling the chimera for additional help with this situation. His stops by Crane's office are less frequent now, almost nonexistent. If the man asks Will to join him for lunch, he won't say no. But he won't initiate it, either. It's a precarious spot to be in, and Will doesn't enjoy it too much. He's worked with worse, though, hasn't he?
People like Crane turn into people like Crane for some reason, usually, Will knows. He considers himself fortunate for not having gotten too invested in him, otherwise he might be tempted to do a little subtle digging. Will didn't think too much about Crane before he made his move, he's certainly not going to change that now. He won't let this eat at him or anything.
Haha. Yeah right. This sucks and everything sucks and he should never have changed jobs, fucking birds, man.

[personal profile] restingstitchface


"...thank you, Graham."

MILES EDGEWORTH.

Started off a little rocky, no surprise there. But it seemed to settle well enough...until Miles got news that Yuri Petrov was, in fact, a raging lunatic. By the name of Lunatic. Will had some loyalties to Yuri, and the glorious inability to care about arguing in public spaces when he called Miles out on his particular method of announcing this to the community at large with then insufficient evidence. Even with Kay's impromptu stop to give him the details as she saw them, he remained unconvinced it was anything other than shortsighted and reckless. Which is fine enough when someone is, like, ten. Not so fine when that puts other people on the line. But at least Miles recognized it, and although their little meeting in Will's kitchen wasn't under the best of circumstances, it still feels like they've found a good, nice even spot. Miles has asked him about a variety of things, relating to the job, and even though Will's not glad that's his first association, he's glad that Miles comes to him and they can have reasonable, friendly discussions. He might never say it out loud, but he considers Miles something of a friend. Close enough that it could veer into that territory...just as easily as it could veer into another spitting match. But where's the fun if a friendship doesn't involve the ability to have heated disagreements, right?
And where's the fun if, when one friend vanishes, the other doesn't step in to make sure none of their stuff goes missing? Not only did April and he have a haul of free groceries (!!!), they got a better insight at the sort of person Miles Edgeworth is when no one is watching.
He apparently watches some really strange television. That's probably why Will's been sucked into it, not that he'll say it out loud without prompting. Or that he spent the first few episodes watching it, looking to see what Miles Edgeworth saw in it...before he got invested in the show and enjoyed it all on his own.
Strange minds think alike.

(hot readings & cold shoulders.)

[personal profile] takethestairs


"I'm sorry. Please don't do this."

HOUKA INUMUTA.

Inumuta and Will spoke before about the government, and if anyone is surprised that the government does not appreciate being hacked, that's someone Will doesn't want to talk to. Annie's friend here has a smart mouth that doesn't know when to quit, and after sticking his snout into some business at a charity event, Will decided to turn the hose on a damn yappy little pup and bought him, too. While he was right there to see it.
Inumuta didn't appreciate it. He didn't seem to appreciate his birthday present much, either, going so far as to ask the Network what the hell was wrong with Will Graham. No regrets on Will's end, even if he didn't enjoy having to be an actual adult in the conversation that ensued. He might take things to extremes, as far as Will sees it, but he's worth keeping an eye on. Inumuta has totally been through worse than having to deal with Will Graham anyway. He won't believe otherwise after the Network-announced stomach-crushing despair that came from eating something a friend cooked for him...
...Will's interest has nothing to do with that.

[personal profile] databoner


"...where there's a will, there's a way."

DORIAN GRAY.

Robbed a bank, got burned to death by Lunatic. Life is just one wild ride for Dorian Gray.
The two of them bonded over being close to Yuri Petrov but not close enough, and it felt righteous to destroy some of his nicer dishware together. That could have been the end of it (wham, bam, thank you, man), but Will got sent home and returned with a new set of powers. One was not difficult to understand. The other hit almost as close as his ability to fix broken cups, and after repeated attempts to fix what he thought must have been broken, he sought Dorian Gray out to see if he knew a thing about controlling shadows.
Dorian doesn't, but Dorian Gray is a L-I-A-R. Will has no idea, has no frame of reference for this sort of thing. He's also shockingly at ease around Dorian, even when he's sitting on the sex couch and in line to inherit it should problems arise. So while Will has come to accept that his powers are very limited, he's content to still spend time with Dorian. Even if Dorian seems to think a certain psychiatrist has a thing for Will. Dorian let his shadow destroy part of his house! Dorian was totally chill with having his own shadow prance and demand attention! Dorian has his problems, but don't we all? Let he who is without sin—
He also has no idea that Dorian sees him a project.
He's happier this way.

[personal profile] brushoff


"It simply means I have an opportunity to offer help to someone who may need it."

JONATHAN JOESTAR.

This poor man.
Jonathan Joestar was unlucky enough to receive Hannibal Lecter's communicator by accident and then ask the Network about him. Cue a slew of memories and Will trying his damnedest to keep himself as together as possible when he chimed in. Didn't help that both Freds were out of their minds at the time and Abigail had vanished. One man alone against the world.
Except not. Jonathan Joestar is an incredible and incredibly baffling individual. An offer of help Will had not expected left him almost unable to speak English. Will is fully aware that some people just want to help, and genuinely so, for no selfish reasons attached. They want to help not because it makes them feel good, or because it helps them sleep easier at night even as it crawls into their dreams, but because they're just good people.
Jonathan Joestar is good people, from everything Will's seen. This is both attractive and repulsive. His well of patience, kindness, and understanding has to dry up at some point, doesn't it? Getting too close to someone like Jonathan while carefully keeping his own badness in the shadows seems unfair. Cruel. Intruding on something he doesn't deserve, isn't worthy of.
But he wants to soak up some of that spirit. If he can change for the worse under the influence of the worst, putting himself around more of the best might be a nice remedy, right?

[personal profile] fistofthejoestar


"Will, why aren't you afraid of me?"

KEN KANEKI.

There was a time when Will didn't realize there were other cannibals around. Not like Titans, but legitimate cannibals. And then, oh, the file leaks happened, Ken had been publicly slaughtered, and he came back a little different than he'd been before. He also came back a criminal, and Will Graham used his Registered status and their former living situation as a way to segue himself right in Ken's life. He's yet to tell him the true reasoning behind it, and apparently Ken only eats his meat raw, so there's no sharing on that end, but. One day. One day, soon, it'll all come spilling out. Like guts.
So Will did it. He did the adult thing. He had a Difficult Conversation.
No guts were spilled. Some secrets, perhaps, and Ken's enormous inner organ came shooting out of his back, but what's cannibalistic conversations without a couple of organs being put on the table for Will's inspection, right? Par for the course.
(First course is people.)
Honesty seems to have paid off, go figure. Ken's come to Will outside of their relationship as officer and criminal (pfft) for a place to stay, and like hell is Will going to say no to a little extra help at the shop when some of his staff would be overjoyed at having several days off in a row. Everyone benefits, no one really loses. Will might have to ford the river of awkward phone calls from people worried about Ken, but he's had much worse phone calls than that.
They'll pull through just fine. That's what cannibals do, after all. And Ken, if he made a diet out of other ghouls like him instead of human beings, regardless of his reasoning, is definitely more of a cannibal than Will hopefully could ever be.
Which probably sucks for Ken. Kid ain't right. But who is?

(iron chef: raw vs. cooked)

[personal profile] enucleation


"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to invade your... privacy like that."

CLARK KENT.

Clark seems like a good guy, and when Freddie Lounds and Will Graham agree on something, that's a pretty big indicator. Will's not sure what he did to get Clark so agreeable to not snooping within Baltimore's scope, but...well, he's glad they came to terms as they did. Talking to Clark, even when it's about something less than pleasant, has this odd, soothing effect. Will's not sure if he just has some words-as-relaxants power or it's just him, but he'd quite like Clark to stick around.
Clark has stuck around, and Will's still on board with this whole sticking around business. It was a huge blow, losing Freddie, how Freddie made her grand exit. Although Will puts up what could be considered a front that it doesn't gnaw at him too terribly much, it does, and Clark's gentle, good nature serves as a fantastic balm to combat that whenever the topic comes around.
Will won't bring it up, ever, but he's curious how it feels to be the odd man out when Clark's oddness is so normal. What's it like to be a normal guy surrounded by great detective and superheroes? Will can understand why they'd hang with him (who wouldn't?), but it's still interesting to note. And even though his Crane is a different Crane, Will's thankful for that extra bit of information.
What a great guy.

[personal profile] andaway


"You're both Dogbreath."

ANNIE LEONHART.

Pinged by Chilton and Gideon pointing fingers on the Network, Will spoke up, too. Made it easier to follow along that way. He didn't expect much of anything to come from it...and then Annie Leonhart became higher up on his "follow all public conversations" radar shortly after. Her world seems intense, and intensely awful. He can't fix that, but he can provide a little padding, here in this one. Sometimes the freezer in his shop has a more expensive box of ice cream reserved for her, so what? Sometimes she gives him a load of shark teeth and his thoughts are to make something with them that doesn't point to them being exactly what they are, so what? She communicates in ways Will can appreciate while having a lack of understanding about certain things Will is used to and takes for granted. That makes it, occasionally, easier for Will to be less of a mess when she's around.
But it also is a source for worry, however he might not want to state it out loud. He's less worried about the possibility of her Titan-ing the hell out in the middle of a shift at his shop than he is about what might happen if the wrong sort comes across her missing pieces of knowledge plenty take for granted. Go figure.
(Lunch time is never people with Annie. Lunch time with Annie? Is awesome.)

(i'm still breathing.)

[personal profile] lyingheart


"Do you know what I'm feeling now?"

MATTHEW LIN.

A demon and a liar, and a particularly reckless one at that. This little ram from hell has gotten himself wrapped up a bit too tightly in the way that he seems to interact with several others Will feels close to. He doesn't mind the demon thing, and lying is about as unique as red roses, but this is something else. He has a foul mouth which fits all the shit he spews, and goes great with his tendency to stick his snout where it isn't called for. To snoop and take and play it off as though it's not extremely rude.
He remembers those Bronzefish.
He also remembers his good buddy Father Daniels, and it anything happens to a man stuck in prison suffering from hallucinations of the demonic...

[personal profile] abduxel


"I suppose some people simply have a calling."

CHROLLO LUCILFER.

Look at that body. Not the name, names can be misleading. That body is on advertisements near Will's work more often than not. He has to look at that body.
Chrollo has an...interesting...last name, it's true. But Will also rhymes with kill, and he isn't—
Anyway.
Unfortunate incidents led to memory swapping, and then somehow Chrollo found Will worth "purchasing" at a charity event. He's never one to shy away from a fishing trip, provided the company is good, and Chrollo is fine company. A bit of a businessman, too, if he goes through with this whole diner plan. Men of wealth and taste are...
Nah. No way. Really. What are the chances? People can't help what their parents name them!

[personal profile] cephalothorax


"you make me sad"

♛ APRIL LUDGATE.

Sweet Lord have mercy, the first person to initiate a conversation with Will on the Network was April Ludgate. Already in a whirlwind of confusion, April added more onto it, but not in a bad way. It ran the gamut from cute pets to bats to her being a vampire queen and him being prejudiced against vampires to talk of raccoons and clams. Who better to name badass sharks after? Will left Heropa to move to his beloved Virginia after sending her a gift, and text conversations about anything and everything and a destroyed house later? Well, he had to go somewhere.
The secret to seduction is, apparently, a piss poor attempt at an accent of Natasha from Rocky & Bullwinkle. Apathy and empathy, it's like the positive and negative sides to magnets. Totally awesome, not quite sure how it all really works, but, mysteriously, it does. Though when Hannibal Lecter's around? Better keep personal relationships quiet. No making out on trains. He can find a way to absorb her ability to not care about anything and everything some other way. He envies it, even. Just a bit.
When Hannibal Lecter is not around? Internal partying, time to move in and be on his best behavior around Eduardo. That is one raccoon nobody should want to fuck with. Heropa's selections of wines under five dollars are probably starting to deplete between these two, there is nothing to complain about here.
April essentially owns his soul at this point. He's very pleased.
Essentially? No. She does. She totally does. If moving in and making meals doesn't prove as much, the rings on their fingers should because April and Will took a nice weekend vacation to Puerto Rico, said to hell with it, and tied the knot. This place is a world onto itself, and the only chance they get. Holding back out of fear or consideration about what might happen to another them who will never know this them is a waste. They stopped being wasteful. Both of them ended up Ported out for a day, it was time to commit or admit that it was never going to happen.
In the wake of Abigail being taken away once more, April proved herself the safe harbor that Will could actually depend on. When Abigail returned, she proved that while she puts up a nice front about not caring, when it comes to the few people she grows attached to, her caring knows no bounds. Abigail Hobbs will always be first and foremost on Will's list of important people, but since they've moved past the whole child bride mix up and it's been made extremely obvious he's a sad plaid dad, April is right behind her.
There is nothing in this world (or any world) that Will would not do in order to see April safe, sound, and happy. His only regret is that if either of them are ever hit by the Porter in the most merciless of ways, they'll never see each other again after those three months have gone by. And if Will ever goes back to Baltimore and stays there, not only will he never see her again, he won't know she ever existed and can't miss her.
It's both blessing and curse and Will does his best to dwell on it approximately never. He's certainly not going to say it.


(you get me.)

[personal profile] aggressiveapathy


"And Then To Follow With This Insult!!!"

KANAYA MARYAM.

Kanaya has been around a while, which Will finds as beneficial as he finds saddening. But, hey, after a brief discussion about her world, here might be better! Except for the whole literal supervillain thing, that's...not quite so great. Their first real interaction came by way of Kanaya being in prison and Will bringing her the newspapers she'd missed out on. Just a normal chat about what she was missing without anything pushy going on, a chance to observe what he might have looked like...okay, fine. There was some selfishness going on. STILL. Kanaya's out and seems to be doing well enough, when she's not being screwed over by this place in general. He has, at least, learned not to mirror her troll quirk. Pro: it gets her attention. Con: she gets upset about it. Who knew! He's still trying to figure out how to navigate the waters of Kanaya Maryam successfully, and not at all hoping for something fashionable later on. Will and fashionable, please.

[personal profile] glowsferatu


"Well, you're not a girl?"

MIKE PARKER.

Will found Mike outside during the Swear-In, realized Mike had been "living outside" when the house he was assigned to was Will's, Mike almost walked into a lamp, things looked like they'd be okay, despite some confusion and odd conversation.
That had absolutely nothing on what happened when Mike tested out his power to become a dog without telling any of his housemates that one of his abilities included turning into a dog. So, Will being Will, found a tired dog that was receptive to being taken inside and carried and generally got pretty excited over having acquired Dog Number Two. Only he realized Dog Number Two wasn't a regular dog and then Mike Dog is leaving pot in his room and eventually coming out as a person and talking to Gunther about dog stuff and just.
Why.
Life difficult, get high.
Life more difficult when Mike "covers" for Will and leaves him some terrifying conversations to find when he gets back together, more difficult when Mike's not around to discuss that with, and then pretty damn okay when Mike comes back.
What a bro.
And then Mike got upset that Will didn't have his full stash of weed for him when he returned and attacked his dog after deciding not to shoot Will. So maybe...not...bros...maybe.
They'll fix it. Somehow. Eventually. It's not like dog!Mike can find anyone who gives tummy rubs as good as Will does, and he knows it. It'll be fine.
It'll be fine, he thinks. It'll work out, he thinks. And after a talk with Matthew Lin on the Network about cannibalism, Will comes to believe that, because Mike Parker comes back to have a nice conversation with him instead of the one they had when Will announced his new job. Everything is okay.
Until Will breaks up a fight and forgets, in the process, that he once had a dream featuring that stag and a river of bodies, a dream Mike Parker happened to wander right into and believed himself to have done some really heavy drugs. But no one was too injured and Will left him some fish, so.
It'll be fine.

[personal profile] lackey


"But try using it on a cop and you wake up in the hospital"

JESSE PINKMAN.

Talk about getting started off on the wrong foot. Will has a couple of issues when it comes to Abigail Hobbs, and Jesse Pinkman unfortunately got to experience those in a phone call that Will straight up lied about to start with. So that was destined to go smoothly from the beginning.
Not.
He doesn't know the extent of what behind-the-scenes went down, which is really good, may it forever stay that way. He's spoken to Hank about Jesse to get his version of events, and Hank is probably better at following the law than Will is. Everyone makes mistakes, though. Will made a mistake by chewing Jesse Pinkman out, but some direct communication seems to be helpful.
Passing him his bacon probably didn't hurt, either. Will's intentions aren't pure by any stretch of the imagination, but they're not nasty, either. There's nothing wrong with picking up the debris of blown apart bridges while collecting some additional details and observations as he does so, right?
#notallfeds #hewisheshewasafed

[personal profile] hostage


"I can't even get mad at you for that one I walked right into it"

JAIME REYES.

Jaime Reyes is a good kid.
He's patient, and generous, and kind, and he has this really strange knack wherein he actually admits his flaws/faults instead of blowing it off or pretending it doesn't exist. He seems like the product of a good home, sure, but he also seems like the sort of person who gives back to the goodness of that home and makes it better than it was before or would be without him.
He's dealt with Will at less than his best and handled it very gracefully. He knows how to express gratitude, too, and now he's got plenty of dumb, punny shirts to wear wherever his enormous, golden heart desires. And Will wins by getting updates whenever Jaime finds one (or more) of interest? What a great kid.
Jaime should be a superhero. He's the sort of person that needs to be given gifts to help others. He could probably talk those evil gorillas out of their evil plans and save the situation without any causalities.

[personal profile] khajidont


"Shit. This is ridiculous. Do you know how stupid this is?"

HANK SCHRADER.

Will's brother in law in the way that they're both on the side of the law. Haw-haw.
Hank is a crass son of a bitch and Will likes him for it. His mouth sounds like it belongs in a boatyard, and even though Will's life growing up wasn't exactly the best, he can associate Hank with the better aspects of it. The one guy who worked closely with his father who didn't think he had to clean up his mouth whenever a kid came around, the one who'd call something horse shit right to Will's face.
The sort of rudeness that Will doesn't get too much of and honestly flocks to Hank for.
As well as his beer. Hot damn. Hank might play humble that he hasn't made it just right yet, but even discussing unpalatable topics, Will knows good beer when he tastes it. He can't hold anything against Hank for his initial reaction to Will's questions about Jesse Pinkman, and as long as the two of them still get along well enough for Hank to use some of that sweet, sweet vulgar language, it's smooth sailing.
He's not giving up on beating Hank's ass at pool, though. He's biding his time. There is a difference.

[personal profile] schrader


"You aren't the only one who owes people the justice and closure they deserve, so don't even act like it!"

KAREN STARR.

Will started this one off on the wrong foot, too. (How shocking.)
That Grapevine blog was just the start of it, not that he's aware. Though Karen turning down another cat led to Abigail gaining a cat of her own, and now that he's seen how Abigail interacts with said cat and come to love the hell beast himself, he's glad she didn't take his apology given physical body.
But, oh, Power Girl.
Also on the wrong foot. Will followed Freddie's discussions, he didn't think that was something anyone would ever doubt. So when Power Girl confronts him about Will Graham's sins of omission in regards to how she left, he's quick to lose his indoor voice. Power Girl had threatened Freddie publicly, it didn't seem a good idea or look for him to just immediately jump on board with her.
Escalation akin to throwing a light match into a tank of gasoline occurred, but it looks like things might be smoothing out. They talk politely, at least. It's one step. The next step is another difficult conversation.
It's just so haaaaaaaaard. Why won't people give up on Baltimore? They're just setting themselves up for headaches and wasted time.

[personal profile] boobwindow


"I'm starting to get the impression you're not very good at talking to people."

JOHN WATSON.

Got off to a bit of a rough start with poor John Watson here, and tried to smooth over the roughness that affected Karen most by making a dog person deal with having another cat around.
As one does.
But then comes in Mary, and Will initiates conversation without immediately adding up the connection there. The two of them are clearly used to a specific sort of odd "genius" running around, Will doesn't feel out of place around either of them. He kicked up a bit of a fuss with the medical staff when he first returned from canon update, spoke to Mary, and decided that shifting over medical care to John was really not the worst idea. In fact, it was a pretty great one, because it means free home-cooked breakfast and spending that free home-cooked breakfast with people who don't seem to find him on the verge of mental breakdown or murder. Just a little odd, but John has yet to share how he thinks of Will's oddness with Will. If only he would, because Will would be so honored.
He probably won't completely screw over everything in Will's life, either, which is amazing. A doctor doing what a doctor is supposed to do????? What the shit is this.
John Watson has a hell of a life.
Will's always been appreciative (even if he's been quiet about it) of how John handles him. He's not perfect, but he tries. Will can agitate him, can be a poor patient, can say the wrong thing. John leaving the room isn't a failure on either part, but a sign that someone, at least, knows their limits and acts on that. John Watson is someone Will looks up to. He doesn't idolize or put him on a pedestal, but there are traits Will wouldn't mind being able to absorb, digest, and use on his own in the same way it's so easy for him to do with people on the opposite end of what Will sees in John.
Which is a good man who just so happens to have one hell of a life. How he keeps it together as well as he does enough that he can go on to freely help others should be classified as one of the wonders of the modern world.

[personal profile] acclimatized


"Will you promise not to turn away?"

MARY WATSON.

Mary's a nurse who keeps a watch on the Network about as much, if not more, than Will does. She's used to the odd types. In fact, she seems to welcome them more than anything else. He doesn't feel like she tolerates his presence. He feels like she actually enjoys it. That's great, because Will enjoys her presence, too. Even if she scolds him on trying to swap out as a hostage for Abigail. No one understands his deep ties to Abigail, it's okay.
As long as she's gonna be cooking breakfast anyway, he's not gonna complain.
Mary is also another L-I-A-R.
Fortunately, through some miracle, Will has managed to earn her friendship and a bit of trust in the process. This fire-breathing monster made up of the parts of other monsters (truly fitting, if she's running around wearing the skins of Baltimore's finest) came out about her frolic as Freddie Lounds while the two of them made cupcakes. Of course Will wasn't going to turn away. Sort of difficult to when the dead came back to life and stared at him, sitting, with nowhere to turn to. Unless he wanted to slide to the floor and never get up, naturally.
Will knew about bluebird and never said anything, lied as well. They're birds of a feather in that way, if nothing else. Will's been considered best friends to the Chesapeake Ripper, though, someone would have to be truly terrible for him to turn away from their company. Especially when they can be so useful!
Especially when they make such good cupcakes.
Will puts trust in Mary and hopes that it won't end poorly. It's all he can do. She gave him a false choice without even trying to pretend otherwise. He's used to being presented with multiple options and smacked until he takes the one he was supposed to take in the first place, as though he could read minds.
Takes two to tango, and Mary helps keep those skills of his sharp. She's a grinding stone, and one he simply has to have faith won't shatter and come back around to bite him in the ass.

(Do you have a history of popping him one?)

[personal profile] sizetwelve


"Is this some kind of sick joke?"

WALTER WHITE.

Brother-in-law to Hank, who is also Will's brother in law.
Zing.
Something happened between Walter White and Frederick Chilton, though hell if Will has been able to figure out the complete truth of the matter. It was nice that their little deal stuck, though not so nice when stories were different. Changed. Almost like Will had been lied to, or at least had been slapped with a few sins of omission.
From all sides, perhaps. He may never know.
Walter White has reasons for anger issues. This place is stressful enough on its own, but coming back from what some see as a promised released, an end, and finding others from their homes here, too? Good reason to lose it.
Seems things have blown over, though, so that's nice. It's so relieving when adults can take care of problems like adults and reach agreements without dragging everyone they know down with them for extended lengths of time. Surely it was just a one time thing. It's all water under the bridge now.
Why.

[personal profile] kingpawn


"Shut up. Don't ruin it."

JEFF WINGER.

Former lawyer who was formerly disbarred and is now back in action on the small screen. Will had the misfortune of discovering a thread wherein Jeff stripped of his shirt for April's eyes, which prompted a streak of insecurity about how he looks shirtless. In order to fix it as much as he possibly ever can, he gave Jeff a ring after April turned down his offer to be gym buddies. April and Jeff seemed to be on similar wavelengths, that was the better option to stewing in envy. Jeff was agreeable and the two of them hit it pretty well. So well that when Jeff vanished for a day, Will reacted rather poorly, fearing he'd be lost to the Porter forever. Fortunately, that wasn't the case! Gym buddy returned, slightly agitated, they picked back up. And Jeff even wrangled another guy with fabulous abs that Will can never attain. The downside is that he looks like one of April's old boyfriends from back home. Some waters are better left unstirred.
The more time he spends with Jeff, though, the more he's stirred up inside. Where does bro end and brother begin? When is Jeff going to get sick of Will and run off with Star-Lord? Are they connected by their own attempts to isolate themselves?
Also, Jeff served as War during a minor apocalypse. Will has no fucking idea.

[personal profile] ferrisbuellean







the trio. ()
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit,
and it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it...

"You're probably my best shot."

FREDERICK CHILTON.

The guy Will had to deal with a few times for work evolved into the guy Will had to deal with because he'd been shuffled off to the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane as an intelligent psychopath. That escalated quickly!
When Will first got to Heropa, he was further ahead on the timeline and content to not talk about that at all. Then Chilton and Gideon go poof after Chilton's walls are smeared with his own blood and showed to the Network, which sort of makes any secret keeping on Will's end a moot point. Only they both come back and Chilton doesn't seem to think he's a dangerous murderer??? And he's willing to tell him what disease he's dealing with as long as Will keeps his trap shut about why Gideon might have made an impromptu visit resulting in Chilton's blood all over his own walls???? Wow. What a great deal.
Chilton gets more than Will's comfortable with people getting, for better or worse. He's one of the few people who have called Will out on his metaphors/similes being complete shit, which led to a metaphorical crisis while Abigail Hobbs was in a literal crisis. He was also the first person Will outright told "yeah I watch your every public move on the Network" and has suffered a few namedrops in silence since. Now that Will's further along the timeline once again, he's uncomfortably stuck in a position where he's got all the information and he doesn't know how to go about sharing it. So he's avoiding the hell out of him, because that's healthy.
Should've kept avoiding him, now Will has dirtied his hands by cleaning up Chilton's mess with an accidentally elk head-butted Abel Gideon. What else are friends for, if not cleaning up after each other, though? Abigail's disappearance followed Freddie's murder, taking them down to two. Frederick Chilton is now the only line Will has back to the bloody, crazy home he knows. He also happens to be Will's psychiatrist again, though Will doesn't intend to do much in the way of actual therapy. Why would he have to, when he's played so well with good ol' Fred all along?
Well shit.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

[personal profile] slightlyoffchilt


"Have you ever been in love?"

ABIGAIL HOBBS.

Things will be better here for Abigail Hobbs, so help him. There is probably nothing in this world that Will Graham would not do for her. Showed up in the hospital the day he had moved out of Heropa, which meant he got his ass right back to Florida. He had months of clues dropped in his lap, all ignored, that came together when Hannibal Lecter's shadow had gone away, and came together in confusing, horrifying ways. Of course there would be confusion, unraveled by Will spending some time back home and coming back with information from the outside. Information that was enough to upset Abigail's stomach with him unable to do anything about it.
Other than promote her at the bait shop, though that's a drop in the bucket for what she truly deserves.
What she truly deserves being less serial killers in her life and more happiness. He's not a shining beacon of joy, but for Abigail Hobbs, alive and breathing? He can be whatever the hell she needs or wants him to be.
She is going to have a better life. She is going to be happy. He will lose his mind before he accepts anything else but a happier world for Abigail Hobbs.

(covenanting with the devil.)

[personal profile] theminotaur


"I love you."

WILL GRAHAM.

WILL GRAHAM
Are you thinking about eating him?

HANNIBAL
Whenever feasible, one should
always try to eat the rude.

WILL GRAHAM
Free-range rude.

Art.

(will graham did everything wrong.)

[personal profile] infomodder

infomodder: is it otherkin or otherkins what is the plural form there (do otherkin yiff)
2015-01-31 03:49 pm
Entry tags:

memory, as performed by dogs instead of cats

Warning for gore. Here is a still of the crime scene from above, for better reference of what a damn mess it is. And here is a .gif set and Will and the stag as it goes charging to fulfill its kill order. The pendulum swing tends to be something like this, too.



You are at a crime scene, an open area covered with snow that has been made gruesome by a killer yet to be identified. Two bodies, a man and a woman, have been eviscerated and dismembered, their blood a hideous splash of red all over an otherwise white setting. You step past a limb and the marker near it, and the pendulum of your mind swings so that both disappear. Time moves back, gives you a view of undisturbed snow. The process with this pendulum repeats with an arm. Then with coworkers. The blood, your boss. Time goes back entirely—day is night, logs in a small circle near you move upwards and the fire comes back to life without any help other than you turning back the clock in your own imagination.

Everything is alive again.

That man and woman walk near the fire, dressed for the weather, hold each other close. Loving. Eventually, they stop walking, turn to each other, and kiss, unaware of the predator lurking under a patch of trees, watching their every move. And you are watching. You don't know them. He didn't steal your woman, she didn't steal your man, these are not family members who ruined something for you, business associates who mucked up your workplace. These are two people in the wrong place at the wrong time for them, but in the right place at the right time for you. You've been practicing, perfecting this on local livestock, on a truck driver. This is not rage, jealousy, revenge. This is instinct.

You want to maul. To let that animal off its leash so it can take part in bloodsport. You'd never deny its natural urges, only ever help evolve them.

You stand alone, but not for long. A large, feathered stag steps out next to you, holds his head up and watches the same sweet scene you're watching. You don't turn to look at him, you know he's there. He knows you're there. No greetings, no holding your hand out to scratch an ear, neither of you make a move to recognize each other at all until you speak, just one word:

"Kill."

He takes off, head lowered, obeys your order without hesitation. Antlers make quick work of everything being alive, tear across necks, scatter blood. You're not simply looking on as your beast does the dirty work, though. When his head lowers to pull at a stomach, it's you that ends up covered in the mess and doing the mauling. No beast. You. There is no animal on a leash. There is nothing but you doing what it is your nature. Killing, taking apart these people who are nothing more than meat to you.

You are the beast.

You snap back to the present, staring down at the cold, lifeless bodies, a new profile forming in your mind and coming out of your mouth.

"It's not an animal. It's a man who wants to be an animal."

You would know, wouldn't you? You were there, after all.
infomodder: u havin a giggle @ me thar m8? (not being kawaii was never an option)
2014-09-28 07:50 pm

i also like music and have a lot of gifs and stuff

hi i'm here to join the pretentious club

well shit
infomodder: a friend with weed is better but hannibal is SOOOO straight edge ugh (but you gotta have frieeeends)
2014-08-30 02:21 pm

cr chart;

cross-canon.
GREY.
kinesia / window boy.

How else does anyone meet their girlfriend's adopted human puppy other than not being aware of said adopted human puppy until he comes climbing to her window while one is having relations of an intimate nature with one's girlfriend? That's how it happens for everyone, right?
Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best initial meeting, stumbling out in April's jacket and all, but Grey proved that free food is a great motivator for just about everybody and it turned out all right in the end. He's even leaving boiled eggs at the window! No idea who trained him in that one, but whatever. Boiled eggs are great.
And who better to keep a secret than the boy who cannot actually speak? Grey came from some awfully cramped world, according to everything Will's heard about it. Time to go out on the ocean, all the space anyone could ever want!

LOKI.
selfimage / zan.

One of the Wonder Twins when it comes to stockpiling information about this place, more evidence that gods are pains in the ass. But as long as there is no teacup shattering going on, it's tolerable.
Bring on the goat booze!

SKYE.
hackitude / technology goddess.

the last person in this world anyone should fuck with. the ice cream is all yours.
Everyone else is all "SIX AVENGERS???? LOL OMG" and Will zooms in on the mention of stray dogs. Go. Figure. But it's not just the fact of the matter that he loves dogs, it's the fact of the matter that the post was going in a few directions that a) he knew nothing about b) seemed to be distressing and c) who doesn't enjoy a good normal distraction around then? A distraction from an old fart who doesn't hate people and talks about super old fart music and references memes that are totally out of fashion and Skye just rolls right with it. And then, what's this, talk of no family, talk of getting a better feel on this whole observation thing, sure, sure, why not? Why not at all. Why not set up a fake tutoring session wherein he's got all the answers rigged to test her abilities in one area so he can look into what materials she would need to cover the most to get her GED? Looking out for each other is part of that thing that's not friendship but maybe is but totally isn't because that's a bad word, right? And he doesn't have to outright tell anyone about the—Freddie no.
She might be bubbly, seem ditzy, turn muzak to something even worse to test her powers, and maybe her choice in writing utensils could lead one to believe she dots her is with hearts, but anyone who judges her on that needs to go back to the day in class where not judging books by the cover was...covered.
She needs a vacation, though. Will would fund a Skye vacation.

KAIDAN ALENKO.
kanadian / the lecturer.

omg shut up
If Freddie ever gets herself murdered here and Kaidan doesn't come after Will in some form or fashion, he will be offended.
WELP.
Shockingly, for how handsome Kaidan is, when he pulls that sad face, Will's drawn to the puppy appeal over anything else. Go figure.

KATE BISHOP.
selfequipped / jayna.

One of the Wonder Twins when it comes to information about here. Kate is an impressive individual and, fortunately, broadcasts that. Unfortunately, some of her smarts got transferred to figuring out what the hell was up with the Baltimore crew in regards to Chilton and Will had to do what he could to prevent it from going any further. It's not technically lying when he's just throwing himself under the bus because of how terrible a witness he'd be! As far as he knows, she's dropped it. He hopes it stays that way. It needs to stay that way.
He will make her more pies as offering.

SASHA BLOUSE.
huntergames / sandwich thief.

did you know that watermelons are actually berries? thanks, kiddo. food buddy with two ears. please keep it that way.
Will stood to the side when he saw great evil happening in a grocery store, and came out of it pretty unscathed. He came out of meeting Sasha, too, so maybe he'll let people slash up grocery store displays more often. But Sasha didn't seem to realize eating and running while still in the store wasn't taken to very well, and helped serve as a bigger wake up call to the fact of the matter that some of the worlds here were very different. She asks him about plenty he takes for granted and he does his best to help out where he can. The enjoyable part of that is when he ends up doing research on his own and finds out that, well, look at that, watermelons are actually a type of berry. Sasha learns a thing or two from Will and, in one way or another, Will ends up learning just as much.
So when she issues an invitation to a potluck with people, he's going and he's going on his best behavior. Not to make friends, but to not be that guest who ends up reflecting poorly on the host.
He doesn't think she'll screw him up for it (though she probably could)—it's just good manners, isn't it? Sasha's earned some good manners.
Sasha asked if Will would stand in as her legal guardian, and he was quick to say yes. Now that Abigail Hobbs has left, Will's started to shift a bit onto Sasha. She even hunts! What could go wrong?

OSWALD CHESTERFIELD COBBLEPOT.
motherflocker / the bird.

former roommate. likes birds. which says something. says i got a place to drop off fish if i can't eat it all. fuck yeah ozzie.
JONATHAN CRANE.
anxiogenic / forever jung.

could you crawl out of jung's asshole for like 2 seconds please.
From "another psychiatrist" to coworker, Will doesn't really find too much off about the good Doctor Crane here. In fact, when faced with Miles Edgeworth's dilemma about finding a psychiatrist, he shuffled him off to Crane. The guy specializes in anxiety, and Will knows very well what Frederick Chilton specializes in. He's a fan of Jung, fine, whatever. It can't be that bad, though, can it? Might be up to something with Chilton, but Will doesn't know for certain. He has, unfortunately, been the recipient of messages Will intended for April. He was a good sport about it, and if he ever feels lonely, he can look back and see that somebody loves him. That's nice, isn't it? Will's favorite game whenever they're in the same building for work is seeing how long he can restrain himself from stopping by and being a shithead. He's basically Zeller at this point. Oops.

MILES EDGEWORTH.
takethestairs / the littlest lawyer.

when did you get back?
Started off a little rocky, no surprise there. But it seemed to settle well enough...until Miles got news that Yuri Petrov was, in fact, a raging lunatic. By the name of Lunatic. Will had some loyalties to Yuri, and the glorious inability to care about arguing in public spaces when he called Miles out on his particular method of announcing this to the community at large with then insufficient evidence. Even with Kay's impromptu stop to give him the details as she saw them, he remained unconvinced it was anything other than shortsighted and reckless. Which is fine enough when someone is, like, ten. Not so fine when that puts other people on the line. But at least Miles recognized it, and although their little meeting in Will's kitchen wasn't under the best of circumstances, it still feels like they've found a good, nice even spot. Miles has asked him about a variety of things, relating to the job, and even though Will's not glad that's his first association, he's glad that Miles comes to him and they can have reasonable, friendly discussions. He might never say it out loud, but he considers Miles something of a friend. Close enough that it could veer into that territory...just as easily as it could veer into another spitting match. But where's the fun if a friendship doesn't involve the ability to have heated disagreements, right?

(hot readings & cold shoulders.)
HOUKA INUMUTA.
databoner / the puppy.

Inumuta and Will spoke before about the government, and if anyone is surprised that the government does not appreciate being hacked, that's someone Will doesn't want to talk to.
Annie's friend here has a smart mouth that doesn't know when to quit, and after sticking his snout into some business at a charity event, Will decided to turn the hose on a damn yappy little pup and bought him, too. While he was right there to see it.
Inumuta didn't appreciate it. He didn't seem to appreciate his birthday present much, either, going so far as to ask the Network what the hell was wrong with Will Graham. No regrets on Will's end, even if he didn't enjoy having to be an actual adult in the conversation that ensued. He might take things to extremes, as far as Will sees it, but he's worth keeping an eye on. Inumuta has totally been through worse than having to deal with Will Graham anyway. He won't believe otherwise after the Network-announced stomach-crushing despair that came from eating something a friend cooked for him...
...Will's interest has nothing to do with that.

KEN KANEKI.
enucleation / o my cannison.

dude
There was a time when Will didn't realize there were other cannibals around. Not like Titans, but legitimate cannibals. And then, oh, the file leaks happened, Ken had been publicly slaughtered, and he came back a little different than he'd been before. He also came back a criminal, and Will Graham used his Registered status and their former living situation as a way to segue himself right in Ken's life. He's yet to tell him the true reasoning behind it, and apparently Ken only eats his meat raw, so there's no sharing on that end, but. One day. One day, soon, it'll all come spilling out. Like guts.

(iron chef: raw vs. cooked)
CLARK KENT.
andaway / the farmboy what done learned how to read.

ask me no questions and i will tell you no lies. actually, don't ask me anything. leave me alone.
Clark seems like a good guy, and when Freddie Lounds and Will Graham agree on something, that's a pretty big indicator. Will's not sure what he did to get Clark so agreeable to not snooping within Baltimore's scope, but...well, he's glad they came to terms as they did. Talking to Clark, even when it's about something less than pleasant, has this odd, soothing effect. Will's not sure if he just has some words-as-relaxants power or it's just him, but he'd quite like Clark to stick around.

ANNIE LEONHART.
lyingheart / little giant.

showing my ass to chilton and gideon, end up with you. clearly i should show my ass more often. shark tooth friendship necklaces, better than eating people.
Pinged by Chilton and Gideon pointing fingers on the Network, Will spoke up, too. Made it easier to follow along that way. He didn't expect much of anything to come from it...and then Annie Leonhart became higher up on his "follow all public conversations" radar shortly after.
Her world seems intense, and intensely awful. He can't fix that, but he can provide a little padding, here in this one. Sometimes the freezer in his shop has a more expensive box of ice cream reserved for her, so what? Sometimes she gives him a load of shark teeth and his thoughts are to make something with them that doesn't point to them being exactly what they are, so what? She communicates in ways Will can appreciate while having a lack of understanding about certain things Will is used to and takes for granted. That makes it, occasionally, easier for Will to be less of a mess when she's around.
But it also is a source for worry, however he might not want to state it out loud. He's less worried about the possibility of her Titan-ing the hell out in the middle of a shift at his shop than he is about what might happen if the wrong sort comes across her missing pieces of knowledge plenty take for granted. Go figure.
(Lunch time is never people with Annie. Lunch time with Annie? Is awesome.)

(i'm still breathing.)
APRIL LUDGATE.
aggressiveapathy / queen ♛.

the best owner i've ever had. awkwardly opts into sexual tension, please keep my ass safe. and so the mongoose fell in bed with the snake and it's GREAT. as long as nobody from Baltimore knows, that is.
Sweet Lord have mercy, the first person to initiate a conversation with Will on the Network was April Ludgate. Already in a whirlwind of confusion, April added more onto it, but not in a bad way. It ran the gamut from cute pets to bats to her being a vampire queen and him being prejudiced against vampires to talk of raccoons and clams. Who better to name badass sharks after? Will left Heropa to move to his beloved Virginia after sending her a gift, and text conversations about anything and everything and a destroyed house later? Well, he had to go somewhere.
The secret to seduction is, apparently, a piss poor attempt at an accent of Natasha from Rocky & Bullwinkle. Apathy and empathy, it's like the positive and negative sides to magnets. Totally awesome, not quite sure how it all really works, but, mysteriously, it does. Though when Hannibal Lecter's around? Better keep personal relationships quiet. No making out on trains. He can find a way to absorb her ability to not care about anything and everything some other way. He envies it, even. Just a bit.
When Hannibal Lecter is not around? Internal partying, time to move in and be on his best behavior around Eduardo. That is one raccoon nobody should want to fuck with.
Heropa's selections of wines under five dollars are probably starting to deplete between these two, there is nothing to complain about here.
April essentially owns his soul at this point. He's very pleased.


(you get me.)
KANAYA MARYAM.
glowsferatu / actual designer.


chilton's best patient MY ASS.
Kanaya has been around a while, which Will finds as beneficial as he finds saddening. But, hey, after a brief discussion about her world, here might be better! Except for the whole literal supervillain thing, that's...not quite so great. Their first real interaction came by way of Kanaya being in prison and Will bringing her the newspapers she'd missed out on. Just a normal chat about what she was missing without anything pushy going on, a chance to observe what he might have looked like...okay, fine. There was some selfishness going on. STILL. Kanaya's out and seems to be doing well enough, when she's not being screwed over by this place in general. He has, at least, learned not to mirror her troll quirk. Pro: it gets her attention. Con: she gets upset about it. Who knew! He's still trying to figure out how to navigate the waters of Kanaya Maryam successfully, and not at all hoping for something fashionable later on. Will and fashionable, please.

MARY MORSTAN.
sizetwelve / the observer.

there's something about mary
THERE REALLY IS THOUGH Mary's a nurse who keeps a watch on the Network about as much, if not more, than Will does. She's used to the odd types. In fact, she seems to welcome them more than anything else. He doesn't feel like she tolerates his presence. He feels like she actually enjoys it. That's great, because Will enjoys her presence, too. Even if she scolds him on trying to swap out as a hostage for Abigail. No one understands his deep ties to Abigail, it's okay.
As long as she's gonna be cooking breakfast anyway, he's not gonna complain.

MIKE PARKER.
lackey / dog catcher.

holy shit.
Will found Mike outside during the Swear-In, realized Mike had been "living outside" when the house he was assigned to was Will's, Mike almost walked into a lamp, things looked like they'd be okay, despite some confusion and odd conversation.
That had absolutely nothing on what happened when Mike tested out his power to become a dog without telling any of his housemates that one of his abilities included turning into a dog. So, Will being Will, found a tired dog that was receptive to being taken inside and carried and generally got pretty excited over having acquired Dog Number Two. Only he realized Dog Number Two wasn't a regular dog and then Mike Dog is leaving pot in his room and eventually coming out as a person and talking to Gunther about dog stuff and just.
Why.
Life difficult, get high.
Life more difficult when Mike "covers" for Will and leaves him some terrifying conversations to find when he gets back together, more difficult when Mike's not around to discuss that with, and then pretty damn okay when Mike comes back.
What a bro.
And then Mike got upset that Will gave a bunch of pot to Jayden and attacked his dog after deciding not to shoot Will. So maybe...not...bros...maybe.
They'll fix it. Somehow. Eventually. It's not like dog!Mike can find anyone who gives tummy rubs as good as Will does, and he knows it. It'll be fine.

JAIME REYES.
khajidont / soon to be a dog person.

what a good kid that jaime reyes is.
HANK SCHRADER.
schrader / brother in law.

will's new best friend in the business. they're gonna fuck shit up...after this last beer and oh hell it's discount night at the bar. they'll get to business soon.
DANA SCULLY.
starbuckaroobanzai / ABSOLUTELY NOT BEDELIA DU MAURIER.

you go after the alien, i'll go after the not alien. no we can't swap!!
A doctor (but not that kind of doctor) who worked with the FBI back where she's from, Will and Dana Scully have a good amount of common ground. Both teachers at Quantico, both having been in the business long enough to be tired of it but what else is there to do? Her question of whether or not Will believed in the existence of extraterrestrials was somewhat less difficult to answer when he'd been in game as long as he had and had seen a house destroyed by a dog and wolf with exceptional strength.
Yeah, he believes in them. Sort of stupid not to.
Will has seen some shit in his day. Dana Scully has seen some shit, too, though he's certain some of what she's seen makes even a bird in a person in a horse's uterus look like the kid's cereal aisle. She's polite enough to show some surprise at it, though, which is nice of her. As long as Dana's willing to share, he's willing to listen. Especially when there are insects involved, because insects are cool.
And so is Dana Scully.
Despite her looking like...someone else who he won't mention unless he absolutely has to.

KAREN STARR.
boobwindow / cat person.

reacts poorly to being namedropped. not fat.
CAT PEOPLE SUCK SO MUCH AND SHE IS THE PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHY. GODDAMNIT.

JOHN WATSON.
acclimatized / poor bastard.

do u wanna blog about some cases
Got off to a bit of a rough start with poor John Watson here, and tried to smooth over the roughness that affected Karen most by making a dog person deal with having another cat around. As one does.
But then comes in Mary, and Will initiates conversation without immediately adding up the connection there. The two of them are clearly used to a specific sort of odd "genius" running around, Will doesn't feel out of place around either of them. He kicked up a bit of a fuss with the medical staff when he first returned from canon update, spoke to Mary, and decided that shifting over medical care to John was really not the worst idea. In fact, it was a pretty great one, because it means free home-cooked breakfast and spending that free home-cooked breakfast with people who don't seem to find him on the verge of mental breakdown or murder. Just a little odd, but John has yet to share how he thinks of Will's oddness with Will. If only he would, because Will would be so honored.
He probably won't completely screw over everything in Will's life, either, which is amazing. A doctor doing what a doctor is supposed to do????? What the shit is this.



the gruesome twosome.
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit
FREDERICK CHILTON.
slightlyoffchilt / the jackal.

there is no god.
The guy Will had to deal with a few times for work evolved into the guy Will had to deal with because he'd been shuffled off to the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane as an intelligent psychopath. That escalated quickly!
When Will first got to Heropa, he was further ahead on the timeline and content to not talk about that at all. Then Chilton and Gideon go poof after Chilton's walls are smeared with his own blood and showed to the Network, which sort of makes any secret keeping on Will's end a moot point. Only they both come back and Chilton doesn't seem to think he's a dangerous murderer??? And he's willing to tell him what disease he's dealing with as long as Will keeps his trap shut about why Gideon might have made an impromptu visit resulting in Chilton's blood all over his own walls???? Wow. What a great deal.
Chilton gets more than Will's comfortable with people getting, for better or worse. He's one of the few people who have called Will out on his metaphors/similes being complete shit, which led to a metaphorical crisis while Abigail Hobbs was in a literal crisis. He was also the first person Will outright told "yeah I watch your every public move on the Network" and has suffered a few namedrops in silence since. Now that Will's further along the timeline once again, he's uncomfortably stuck in a position where he's got all the information and he doesn't know how to go about sharing it.
So he's avoiding the hell out of him, because that's healthy.
Should've kept avoiding him, now Will has dirtied his hands by cleaning up Chilton's mess with an accidentally elk head-butted Abel Gideon. What else are friends for, if not cleaning up after each other, though? Abigail's disappearance followed Freddie's murder, taking them down to two. Frederick Chilton is now the only line Will has back to the bloody, crazy home he knows. He also happens to be Will's psychiatrist again, though Will doesn't intend to do much in the way of actual therapy. Why would he have to, when he's played so well with good ol' Fred all along?
Well shit.


WILL GRAHAM.
infomodder / the future alcoholic.

i fucked up.
I HAVE CONTINUED TO FUCK UP.




credit [community profile] exclusive
infomodder: nice hair bro (majestic shaggy beast)
2014-07-09 02:22 pm
Entry tags:

hook, line, & tinker


music for bait shops


Will's bait shop in [community profile] maskormenace, home to all the stuff you need for fishing and more tacky shirts and hats than should be legal. Currently located only in Heropa, comes with an almost revoltingly quaint sign declaring NO SHIRT NO SHOES NO PROBLEM and another in the far off corner of the window that offers reassurance with a possibly suggestive Good things come to those who bait—don't you just want to walk into that place? Sure you do. Of course you do. Gotta be crazy not to.

It's Monday-Saturday, 8AM-6PM, unless he shuts it down, and he will for whatever reason. Because he's the boss and it's new to be the boss and it's pretty good and he's all right with that. There's a tiny wheelchair ramp installed to the front door and a futon shoved in the back room.

So while you've got your rods and reels and everything needed to fix one (or let Will do that, it's his thing), and the bags of gummy candy that look like worms for the kiddos (or Will because lbr gummies are good at any age), there's plenty of groan-worthy merchandise everywhere you look. Everywhere. See all that bagged, fake bait behind the counter? Look up. There's a sign. What capsize do you wear? and above it are hats. Hats everywhere. Some terrible hats, like...
Ain't Caught Shit Fishing Club
Silly Boys, Fishing Is For Girls!
A BAD DAY OF FISHING TURNING INTO A GOOD DAY OF DRINKING
World's Okayest Fisherman
Reel Women Fish
I'd rather be F___ING
SIZE MATTERS
What happens on the boat...stays on the boat
I LOVE it when MY WIFE lets me go fishing
For example. Any tacky stupid fishing hat you can imagine, it's probably in there somewhere. And there's one on Will's head, too. Because free advertising.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S SHIRTS!
MILF man i love fishing
Angler Management
Nice fish you caught. Can I use it for bait? ( ∙_∙) ( ∙_∙)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) YEAAAAAAAAAH
TL;DR Fishing is for jerks
Wow such wacky
ASS JOKE
Something for the ladies~~~~

Shirts carrying winged fish wearing halos and text like There’s an angler watching over me or winking fish with lipstick in red dresses soaring over She really tugs on my fly right down to the sick-looking frog with just its eyes sticking out with I’m barely keeping my head above water written in a shade most commonly seen in barf bags. PRETTY MUCH WHATEVER YOU WANT, HONESTLY. There are definitely some hidden Master Baiter shirts/decals/whatever, but they're there. They can be found.

Room in the back corner has all the live bait (maggots and worms and crickets and lovely things like that) so it's obviously called WRIGGLE ROOM complete with a cartoonish worm sweating and trying to get away from a hook. Obviously.

Will's mustached majestic pointer Gunther is going to be with him most of the time, generally stuck behind the counter. There's a line of white tape that he can't step over without permission (unless something bad happens), but he's there. Staring. At everyone. Quietly. With his beard in full view.

Aren't you glad this shit exists.
infomodder: i really dressed up today (these are my best dad clothes)
2014-04-30 11:12 am
Entry tags: