IC contact [Mask or Menace]

[infomodder]

"Gone fishing."

[ so don't leave messages to ruin the after fishing glow !!!

your one stop shop for not leaving him alone ]

Comments

[textualhealing]

I can't even remember what a shirt looks like. Is it work related business or shady related business? Do you need a lawyer?

[infomodder]

Go into the master bedroom and look in our closet. There should be plenty of plaid shirts. I'm not sure if I should be offended you assume the only sort of business I could have would either be legitimate or shady.

[A+ nonanswer.]

[textualhealing]

Prefer to remain shirtless rather than your choice of clothing. But seriously, you can't answer? Are you in trouble? Are they tracking our texts? Who are they? Will you bring me back more greek yoghurt if your back before Thurs?

[infomodder]

Yes
No
No
What?
Yes

[textualhealing]

So it's shady business. No one avoids this much if they're just working. I'm offended you didn't tell me.

[infomodder]

Jeff, you forget that my work is consulting with ongoing murder investigations. There is confidentiality that comes with that. I don't even tell April anything I get up to at work here because I can't, and I wouldn't want to do that to her anyway. Why is your first guess shady instead of simply sticking to ethics I've signed my name to and could face penalties or jail time or both if I break?

[textualhealing]

Because shady is what I'd be doing. But fine. Go do your murder stuff. Leave me here to look after the household.

[infomodder]

I know who to call if I need a shady lawyer, then.
The household can look after itself well enough, but I'm grateful for another pair of eyes to make sure nothing too out of the ordinary happens.

[textualhealing]

You mean *reputable lawyer, ty very much.
I would say I'll keep the ladies safe but I'm p sure they can kick my ass. :c So if there's a home invasion I'll set the girls on the invader.

[infomodder]

Reputable lawyer sitting in the shade.
I'm positive they can kick my ass. :) Now you see the wisdom in coming to live with us, right? You're completely safe from everything but, say, Godzilla. And I guess my cooking isn't that bad, either.

[textualhealing]

That's why I'm so cool. Because I'm always in the shade.
You realize i've been told I'm meant to be doing the cooking now right? How is that fair?

[infomodder]

Be careful staying in the shade. You'll turn pasty and cold like a corpse. You'll be unattractive.
Unattractive to well-adjusted people.
Do you like breakfast food, by any chance? Talk to Abigail. She can help in that area.

[Because using her superpowers to make breakfast foods has to be less taxing than trying to remember whatever Hannibal might have taught her. Will has enough problems hearing Hannibal's voice in his head, like hell is he going to force that on Abigail more than she already endures just the same. No. Bagels and sausage and eggs for a week is fine.]

[textualhealing]

Don't worry, I spend time in the light too. Or spray tan. Either is fine.
Ok Abigail can do all cooking while you're away.

[infomodder]

That's not what I said. Ask her about breakfast foods, don't ask her to cook.
Or if you do ask her to cook, do NOT say I sent you.
I don't want to come home and have to go to your room first, Jeff.

[textualhealing]

Maybe I want you to come to my room first. ;)

[infomodder]

Then say that.
But if I come to your room first I'm using your shower.

[textualhealing]

No way. I don't know where you've been.

[infomodder]

One way to find out.

[textualhealing]

Will you have actually washed in the last week? Legit question.

[infomodder]

Why do you think my first wish upon getting home is to take a shower?

[textualhealing]

Yeah, you're definitely not coming near my room.

[infomodder]

I might need to if I bust my razor trying to shave off this beard I've got going.
Don't be selfish.

[textualhealing]

Use a straight razor. Problem solved.

[infomodder]

You underestimate how bad my beard can be.
I also don't have a straight razor. Do you?

[textualhealing]

Uh duh. Any self respecting man has one. Do you know how to use it? Not gonna lend it to you if you're just gonna accidentally slit your throat open. I don't wanna explain that to April.