IC contact [Mask or Menace]

[infomodder]

"Gone fishing."

[ so don't leave messages to ruin the after fishing glow !!!

your one stop shop for not leaving him alone ]

Comments

[textualhealing]

You mean *reputable lawyer, ty very much.
I would say I'll keep the ladies safe but I'm p sure they can kick my ass. :c So if there's a home invasion I'll set the girls on the invader.

[infomodder]

Reputable lawyer sitting in the shade.
I'm positive they can kick my ass. :) Now you see the wisdom in coming to live with us, right? You're completely safe from everything but, say, Godzilla. And I guess my cooking isn't that bad, either.

[textualhealing]

That's why I'm so cool. Because I'm always in the shade.
You realize i've been told I'm meant to be doing the cooking now right? How is that fair?

[infomodder]

Be careful staying in the shade. You'll turn pasty and cold like a corpse. You'll be unattractive.
Unattractive to well-adjusted people.
Do you like breakfast food, by any chance? Talk to Abigail. She can help in that area.

[Because using her superpowers to make breakfast foods has to be less taxing than trying to remember whatever Hannibal might have taught her. Will has enough problems hearing Hannibal's voice in his head, like hell is he going to force that on Abigail more than she already endures just the same. No. Bagels and sausage and eggs for a week is fine.]

[textualhealing]

Don't worry, I spend time in the light too. Or spray tan. Either is fine.
Ok Abigail can do all cooking while you're away.

[infomodder]

That's not what I said. Ask her about breakfast foods, don't ask her to cook.
Or if you do ask her to cook, do NOT say I sent you.
I don't want to come home and have to go to your room first, Jeff.

[textualhealing]

Maybe I want you to come to my room first. ;)

[infomodder]

Then say that.
But if I come to your room first I'm using your shower.

[textualhealing]

No way. I don't know where you've been.

[infomodder]

One way to find out.

[textualhealing]

Will you have actually washed in the last week? Legit question.

[infomodder]

Why do you think my first wish upon getting home is to take a shower?

[textualhealing]

Yeah, you're definitely not coming near my room.

[infomodder]

I might need to if I bust my razor trying to shave off this beard I've got going.
Don't be selfish.

[textualhealing]

Use a straight razor. Problem solved.

[infomodder]

You underestimate how bad my beard can be.
I also don't have a straight razor. Do you?

[textualhealing]

Uh duh. Any self respecting man has one. Do you know how to use it? Not gonna lend it to you if you're just gonna accidentally slit your throat open. I don't wanna explain that to April.

[infomodder]

Are you volunteering to shave me when I get back?

[textualhealing]

What? No! Go to a barbers.

[infomodder]

What if I lowered your rent for the month?

[textualhealing]

You're seriously gonna trust me with a knife to your throat tho?

[infomodder]

Is that really so surprising when I trust you around my family?

[textualhealing]

I figured it was less about trusting me and more about trusting that your family could kick my ass.

[infomodder]

Well, you figured wrong.
It's both.

[textualhealing]

Well thanks, I think?
Do you seriously want a shave?