infomodder | IC contact [Mask or Menace]

[ Shh, Ray is fond of dogs. ]

Yeah, they were hawking that kinda crap to girls when we were kids, too. [ It makes so much more sense now... ] And now it just sounds like we're tryin to create addicts. Might get in trouble for that one.

[Only heartless monsters aren't fond of dogs.]

Wouldn't wanna get in trouble. [Would he??? Would he really??? But then it makes him think that they skipped all the general greetings and niceties and while that's totally okay with Will, it leaves him wondering:] Just called to talk about the culinary world?

[People...usually call him to talk about much worse stuff. Or the culinary world being used for said worse stuff. Please forgive.]

[ TRUE DAT. This is why he loves Dief like a bro.... but yeah okay maybe you caught him. He's on some strange mission to speak to people to... confirm things. Or something specific. ]

I mean, sure, i've got more than enough when it comes to the eating habits of the rich and poor. [ No he doesn't. ] But.. ah, y'know, I could probably manage a few other topics.

[ You are one of the very few 'sound' people here after Fraser. But even Ray isn't entirely sure what he's looking for. ]

[Mission: Sociable.

He's not sure if this is leading up to something, but he suspects (almost fears, even) that is a possibility. Ray's lack of being forthcoming about whether or not there is anything specific on his mind actually prods a bit of paranoia because what could be so bad? His last conversation was with Sasha and that turned into something he didn't prepare for and didn't like too much, but...it doesn't have to be that. It could just be some ~liaison~ stuff. Work.]

Just a few topics outside food, huh. [Light, jokingly, unsure if this ice is thin or thick. It's important to be well-rounded, balanced like a good breakfast with all the best nutrients...] Like what?

[ The thing that might come to light momentarily is that, all things considered, Ray is... fairly normal. Ish. At least up against the vast majority of people here. Not to mention, if it was truly so bad, the topic would be brought up with the one and only Fraser, so no one else is much at risk for overly frightening things.

.... Well, you could also say that's because he uuuusually only talks about 'real' subjects to Fraser, no matter what they are. Everyone else he gets the conversational dregs. So. Y'know. Progress. Hermits Unite. ]

Right. Okay. [ Ray is well rounded like a cup of black coffee. In a round mug. ] So, just running with this here: the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing's a given when you're kids. Cause it just is. Them's the words.

But then you go and get all grown up and suddenly boyfriend just doesn't cut it. [ Someone hasn't dated another human in a long ass time. ] Lover's cheesy as fuck and we all know it, and partner... it's like you're trying to be discreet. Bullshit everyone. So what do you use?

[On the list of things Will Graham was not expecting, there's a lot. Then there's this, which was so far from any list he hadn't expected it at all. At least it isn't murder!

He goes silent, mulling it over. Will's lucky that he and April tied the knot, because yeah, after a certain age? Girlfriend and boyfriend just sounds...juvenile. Wife and husband are clear, and he's fortunate in that regard. But hrm.]

Significant other, maybe? [That's the only thing he can toss out with what he's been given, he feels.] Partner puts out the idea that you're on equal footing, sure, but people can take that as someone you work with instead of...what it sounds like you're going for.

[Ray said that he lived with his partner and Will assumed that exact same thing, after all.

Oops?]

[ Well. It wasn't oops before? Because they are partners. ("There are red ships and green ships, but there's nothing like partnerships," says Ray.) Or maybe it pretty much was an oops, Ray's still sort of baffled by his own life. Not that that isn't generally true to begin with, but...

And see, see! Not frightening. He's just polling people. People of one. You. ]

Yeah, but I do work with Fraser- I have for a few years, and christ significant other? [ He is making so many cringey faces right now that it's almost painful. ] I mean sure, he's significant, but that means he's some kinda other. Husband and wife was never this complicated.

... Gonna have to keep going with partner like an asshole, aren't I.

[As long as the red ships and green ships aren't like red shirts and green shirts...

Also rude!!! Nah, Will gets it. It's easy when one is a teenager, but when adulthood hits? Ugh words. Womanfriend and manfriend probably didn't catch on for a damn good reason. But maybe...]

Well. [Mulling it over again instead of being offended at the pain he caused with significant other, sorry Ray.] You could say you're dating, if you want to be clear about it.

[Last resorts.]

[ ... Well, Fraser's a Mountie and Ray wears a lot of green. So. There you have it.

But god he's so far out of his dating game that he's like in another universe here. It's not even Fraser's fault, it's the fault of a long ass marriage and falling in love when you're 13 and what are words even. ]

Start doing the Fraser thing where the introduction just gets longer and longer. [ He clears his throat, ready for this big reveal. ] So, ah- this is my partner Fraser. He's a Mountie, we've been dating for a month, but there was that time he kissed me a year ago so maybe we should'a cleared that up earlier.

[ Ahhhh, his life. ]

[Ahhhh, his life indeed. Will lets out a half-snort half-laugh by the end, agreement that it is a mouthful instead of the terrible laughing at him.]

At least neither of you are juniors, seconds, have titles, or rule over any lands?

[That would definitely make the introduction longer, though it could have some regal twist to it.

But the question isn't just because Hey, you can be grateful for this, at least, right? but because uh. Maybe Will's wrong with that thought. If there are legitimate superheroes and serial killers and Lucifer, like, why can't there be some dukes and duchesses and all in hiding, right? They've had princes before! Supposedly.]

[ Nah, you're good Will, he laughs at the ridiculous sinking ghost ship antics of his life too. And the "buddy breathing." All of things which he blames on Fraser.

But dear god, do not sign him up for dating a princess of whereverville, that sounds horrifying. RCMP is enough for him, a duchess would kick him out on his head faster than a Mountie could tie a knot. ]

Fraser does kinda like to throw his full title around, and that adds at least a few more seconds to the whole deal. But I don't even know what word he's using- should probably shake it out of him... If he's even using one. [ Huh. He hasn't had that thought before. ] Could always just call him Fraser of the North.

[A healthy relationship is one where you can blame pretty much everything on each other, it's true. Gold stars all around. Except maybe not with this lack of communication surfacing, how terrible.

Fraser of the North sounds like it belongs on Game of Thrones, though.]

What if he likes using boyfriend?

[Nightmare incarnate!!]

[ Sometimes Fraser and Ray miss the mark on communication, it's true, but hooo boy have they gotten infinitely better at it. They can even talk without talking (they almost never miss the mark anymore) but then things like this pop up....

... it totally does. ]

Then i'll go along with it. Fine with him, I can deal.

[ Because as volatile as Ray can be, he's also 100% easy going. As long as honesty is involved. As long as Fraser's telling him what he needs to hear, then we're all good. ]

[He even has his own direwolf already, the crossover writes itself.

Aw, Ray. What a good sport.]

I'll make sure to keep this conversation between us if I hear you suddenly using it, then.

[Or is he supposed to keep quiet overall??? Because he can do that, too. For stuff like this? Sure thing. Just be like "don't speak, boy," and he'll behave. No treats or head pats necessary.]

[ OH MY GOD it does. Not to mention he almost hooked up with his sister.... Well, Ray tried to hook up with her too but he obviously has a Mountie kink so whatever. ]

Nah, you don't gotta. I mean, maybe not with the calling him up to chat about it, but if it comes up, I can't see him getting too bothered by it. When you tell your partner you're a duet the second day of working with him, you start running out of fitting words real quick.

One'a those... hasn't really changed but is really fucking different.

[ He didn't really mean that in a pervy sense, he promises. Because that's too much sharing. But don't worry Will, he'll let you know if you need to be sworn to secrecy. ]

[For Canada is cold and full of terrors!?!?]

Shit, I'm— [Another short half-snort, half-laugh. Haha calling people up he doesn't know for reasons that aren't bordering on life and death what a hilarious joke.] —not the talking to people for no reason type. At all. Feel I should wish you good luck with getting the conversation going, though.

[It's only pervy if Will makes it pervy!

So he does not make it pervy. Life is great.]

[ AND WILD WILDABEASTS.

... Will why are you laughing, has he done something particularly funny. He's kind of squinting right now because hey now this is a reason! Gosh! This is totally a reason! ]

Hey. Hey! It's a reason, buddy. [ Because Ray is all confused right now and he doesn't want to admit it. ]

Want me to come up with some other topic? Can talk about immigration laws instead, and the government here beating you with sticks for going AWOL, but hey- I figured this one was easier. [ Huff huff, geez Will. Make his life sound stupid and all. ]

[Whoops, has he offended him? Time to zip it, no laughing, nope, no siree, back to taking this is all very very seriously. Super business tone, nothing funny here.

Nothing funny at all, because while Will would like to assume Ray is being sarcastic and whatnot...he does work within law enforcement. It could look extremely bad if their liaison just ignored that. He's supposed to listen, anyway. Will Graham knows full well that not everyone speaks and communicates the same.]

You've been beaten for going AWOL? Or heard about someone who has?

[ Yeaaaaahhhh, no. Offended he is not. Try a little harder, Will. Well. Actually. It doesn't take that much to piss him off, though you could talk to Jeff about what exactly it takes for Ray to punch people in the face. (Quite a lot, actually. Though violence in general is another story.)

And he was going to make some sort of comedic comment just to impress upon the fact that he's not upset or anything but woah, buddy- ]

That's what people're bein doled out with for that? [ His tone is somewhere between 'huh' and surprise. Mainly because Ray doesn't really care much about politics, he bullshits his way around them for the most part. But still. Some things are important to know. ] Thought it was just a thing.

Not as far as I know, but I've heard much more paranoid and completely unfounded theories about this government before.

[He was just trying to do his job, gosh. He's like Special Inspector Gadget, always on duty.]

[ .... when you're considering absconding to Canada because Fraser loves it there more than he will ever love it here, Ray finds these things a little important. But that's super secret. ]

Uhhh huh. Probly worth listening to every once in awhile but yeah, people love making shit grow outta nothing. [ People like Ray, oops. ] I mean, not gonna lie, politics ain't my thing. Went and shocked everyone when I made it to Detective.

[As far as Will knows, it's just shit outta nothing. Then again, he's well aware he'll never have the same level of clearance or even the shot to get there that he did back home, regardless of how many murderers he helps put behind bars. So maybe it's just that one rung out of his reach where he can find the files about AWOL imPorts are, in fact, to get a few stick lashings before they're put back.

Government spankings.]

They really do. [Said in the beaten down sort of agreement that is actual, wearied agreement, not just trying to be polite or not kick up a fuss. People just love making mountains out of molehills, at least some things stay the same whatever universe he ends up in.] You in that work here, too?

[ The Government needs a new kink okay. And Ray would claim that he doesn't so much make mountains out of molehills, it's that the mountain's he cares about are some really big fucking mountains. That need to be defended. With his heated rage. And being allowed to go to Canada will be one of those mountains.

But really, Will, don't sound so haggard. Ray is adult enough to know that this shit sucks but fully aware that talking circles around it won't make you feel any better. It might fix things eventually but perpetuating misery by being miserable is something he's done enough years of his life that he doesn't like to purposefully get on that train. ]

I'm a PI around these parts. If you can call that cop work, then- i'll let you be the judge'a that one. [ He has mixed feelings. But mostly he sounds kind of amused. ]

[Enter into an underground boxing match where the prize is getting to live in Canada without the US government being a butt about it, Ray. You can do this. Misery loves company, though. That's why bars exist, isn't it?]

Depends on what sort of PI work you do, but I know that a lot have some degree of frequent communication with law enforcement. [The ones who work for insurance companies or in a criminal sense probably have more of that than the ones who just, like, stalk people's boyfriends/girlfriends to see if they're cheating, though. Will isn't amused, but his tone is as light as can be without sounding...off. Just talking about normal things, nothing weird here.] I've been consulting with Internal Affairs for about three months now.

[ If he could do that. If he could do that. He would be so proud of himself and it would be the biggest surprise for Fraser and man he would just-- but yeah, bars. Sign him up. Now that Fraser had the chance to get plastered, Ray's pretty sure it's his turn. ]

Fraser'd pop me one before we agreed to do the hunting down of ex-boyfriends and lost cats. I'd probably knock myself around a little too, not really my thing. Get down to it, I actually liked being a cop. [ He just sucked at the politics of it. But considering how fast he became a Detective, he managed to prove to at least a few people that he was both good at the job and... cared. ]

You serious? Internal Affairs would'a kicked me out a window if they could've. [ Well, Ray, maybe if you stopped shouting so much........ ]

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