infomodder | IC contact [Mask or Menace]

[Curiosity isn't always bad. Don't be a Titan, it'll work out.]

Unfortunately, there are. That's why there are people who work to get as many as possible off the streets.

Would you call them monsters?

No.

[The conversation so far, on Will's end, has been pretty easygoing. But now? That one word? It might be said quietly, but there is confidence behind it. An absolute, emphatic even if it's understated. He understands why people outside the line of work might think that, but having been at the nitty gritty of it as long as he has, there isn't any room for doubt in his mind that the answer is a firm, resounding no. Even if he's in the midst of preparing dinner, even if he could be taken as a bit distracted at the moment, even if it's been said he has a knack for the monsters, he's always going to be clear on this much. Which makes him think of something he hasn't been clear on for the past few minutes. Did Sasha call to talk about monsters?]

But some people do.

Really?

[ She sounds completely stunned... and that's because she is. Everyone here has varying opinions about what makes someone a bad person, but the general consensus seems to be killing another person is unforgivable. Unless you were a member of law enforcement or military, then there's leeway apparently. ]

Even after all they've done?

[Leave it to Will Graham to not be content with the general consensus.]

They're not all the same. Not all one mind. Different motivations, reasons...some serial killers never would have done any of it without an influence they couldn't have seen coming.

[Relating to Elliot Budish 20+ episodes later, this ride don't stop. Well, sort of. Because he does stop and ask:]

You sure you wanna talk about this? Didn't have anything in particular in mind when you called?

[ Will Graham: a movement in the making. ]

Ah...

[ Like she's been caught red-handed. ]

I'm sorry, this is really random to talk about, huh?

[Literally red-handed...]

Sort of. I'm used to this kind of...conversation. [If it was his job, well, he has to be. But Sasha? Probably not so much.] This doesn't. Bother me, but if you had something you were going to address, I...don't want that to go ignored.

[r u sure will

Really really though, he doesn't want Sasha to forget whatever it was and then feel like she can't call back five minutes later, thus becoming associated with frustration instead of a way to pass the time on a reading break.]

I've just... been thinking a lot about a lot of the stuff people have talked about on the network lately.

[ It's a hesitant start. She doesn't know who else to talk about this. ]

[Uh oh. Will pauses, going back through what he last remembers of the Network, filtering out valuable from crap. But one man's trash is another man's treasure, he won't know unless...]

People do like to talk on it. [Talk too much, sometimes, about shit they shouldn't. Will's not exempt from that one.] What's got you thinking so much?

There was talk of monsters and what makes someone bad or good.

[ It's difficult not to take them to heart when she hasn't been able to stop thinking about home and what happens next for her. ]

[...perhaps making dinner isn't the best idea. It's not like April and he don't have leftovers or pop-tarts or the ability to walk down the street and pick up something. So there's a moment where all noise of life continuing without disruption stops entirely, Will pulls out a kitchen chair, and sits. To give Sasha full focus, inwardly kicking himself for falling behind on his general Network perusal in favor of cramming law and other boring crap in his head. He's not opposed to this conversation, and it's certainly not a burden. It's just worth absolute attention. Sasha deserves that much.]

So...are you rethinking what you believe, or having trouble with other people's opinions, or something else?

It's...

[ A combination of all three to some degree. ]

I understand this is a very personal question, but uh...

... have you ever hurt someone trying to stop them?

[Oh hell. Will takes a second, torn between reassuring her that personal questions are fine and just answering her immediately to show as much without saying it, and then:]

Several times. [The frown on his face is almost audible.] Part of the job, sometimes. Yes, I have.

[Why?]

[ Confirmation should relieve her, but somehow it has the opposite effect; she thinks maybe Will didn't change because he's been doing it a long time and that, as far as she believes, he's a good person.

Maybe Crane and this Jung person are wrong. Maybe not everyone has a monster inside of them. ]

I wonder... if it must be hard to hurt another human being. We've fought titans for the longest of times. I don't hesitate to raise my blade against a titan.

[ With the exceptions being Reiner and Annie usually... only she actually did attack them with the intention of stopping Annie in any way possible. ]

[Crane is wrong about a lot of things.]

I've never enjoyed it. [Lied about enjoying it, sure.] If it's you or them, or if they're going to hurt someone else, someone who doesn't have the ability to defend themselves...not much else to do.

[Shooting people in the hospital, that's an ideal spot. Plenty of help nearby. But his concerns about this are growing, bit by bit. Does...Sasha have someone in mind, has someone threatened her, or is this all just hypothetical? One is more preferable to the other, by leaps and bounds.]

Is it so simple?

[ And being able to do it over and over. It's part of his job, though it gets her wondering if it does change you after all. Armin and Jean seemed a bit different after going home, so she has to wonder what frame of mind she'll be in if she ever goes back home and experiences what's lying ahead for her. ]

[Not when there are cannibals around.]

Every situation is unique, but...if there isn't any other way, there isn't any other way. [The word simple is so simple...] That's. My take on it.

[For whatever it matters.]

... do you think it changed you?

[ What she's hesitant to ask is: for the better or worse? ]

[All these conversations happen while he's in the kitchen, don't they.]

Sure it did. [She's hesitant to ask, he's hesitant to go into too much detail.] Every time I've had to do it, I've changed. That's why I only do it if I have to.

[Worse, usually.]

Oh...

[ WHAT KIND OF ANSWER WAS SHE EXPECTING. She doesn't even know herself. ]

[Will tries to keep his infomodding to murderers after they've murdered, so he can't say what answer she was expecting, either.]

Who's been talking about this stuff anyway?

[You know, so he can bark at them. Maybe. Depending on what he finds.]

No one! [ Did that sound too forced? ] I mean... I've been thinking... a lot. For a while...

[Dangerous thinking, it spreads.]

And it gave you more questions than you had before you started thinking about it so much?

.... yes.

Dr. Crane said we all have monsters inside us and that it doesn't seem to be a bad thing necessarily, but... I don't really know if you can still call yourself a good person if you do something bad.

[Ah, yes, Crane has been reading Harry Potter.

Quietly, in the way that suggests Will's not aware he's saying it out loud, Sasha gets:]

What a crock of shit.

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the accursed one word reply

the most dreaded

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