IC contact [Mask or Menace]

[infomodder]

"Gone fishing."

[ so don't leave messages to ruin the after fishing glow !!!

your one stop shop for not leaving him alone ]

Comments

[textualhealing]

I'll puke in your tackle box.

[infomodder]

As long as the dogs can't see. They'll eat it.

[Sex with April leads to weird, gross conversations. Who knew.]

[textualhealing]

You did notice there's a new dog in the house right? Just checking.

[infomodder]

THERE IS????

[textualhealing]

[Srry bro. It's not that new. Jeff is just behind the times.]

The bulldog? That keeps jumping on my bed. The one that looks like Churchill. Did you invite him into your house or is he a squatter that needs to be evicted?

[infomodder]

Sharkbait.
Brought him not too long ago, April named him. Do you not want him on your bed or are you two buddies?

[textualhealing]

Bought him or collected him. You got a habit for strays Will, I already know that just by looking at this household.

Also he keeps drooling on my sheets. So much drool.

[infomodder]

He was abandoned at the dog park. I know, I watched it happen. Gave his former people a while to change their minds and return. Didn't come to pass. He responded well to me so he's ours now. Whatever you want to call that, that's what I did.

[The tale of DOKTOR BUTKIS PUSSY HOUND is tragic.]

If he bugs you I'll train him to leave you alone.

[textualhealing]

The raccoons do worse on my bed.

[infomodder]

With each other or with Sharkbait?

[textualhealing]

Each other. Or alone idk. You know one of them made a salad on my pillow? Got balsamic everywhere. Still not sure if it was a sign of affection or horse head symbolism.

[infomodder]

Really?

[Hmm hmm hmm. What does it all mean, in raccoon language?]

I'd believe it was the former. You make salads, they're trying copy you. Doing it your bed might be to show off their stuff or a sort of breakfast in bed gesture. I would take it as a good thing. They like you enough to watch you, try to do what you do, and share that with you.

[textualhealing]

I'm so glad to hear I'm not the next hit for the raccoon mafia.

Either way, drool is probably just slightly better. Maybe.

[infomodder]

You'd have to do a lot of work to replace me at the top of the list. I wouldn't worry if I was you, Jeff.

If you're okay with him being your drool bed buddy, then so am I. April named him but maybe he wants to be YOUR dog.

[textualhealing]

He can be your drool bed buddy. I'd prefer something a little more refined. Less drool. Like gunther.

You think sharkbait is much of a runner?

[infomodder]

He's less refined in other ways. Stinkier ways, if you know what I mean.

Probably not! But he is a bit of a dough boy, isn't he? You could use him on those runs.

[textualhealing]

You need to teach them to shower themselves. And clean up their own poop.

Maybe he can come for a light jog. I don't wanna kill him.

[infomodder]

Absolutely not. That's what I'm here for.

You could carry him and bulk up your arms even more that way. If such a thing is possible with you.

[textualhealing]

You spoil them.

And such a thing is possible. You just haven't seen my power in action.

[infomodder]

No. I take care of them.

[Says the guy who makes all their food from scratch. Shh.]

I'll show you mine if you show me yours?

[textualhealing]

[Eye rolling at his phone, kthx.]

I've seen yours. Kind of.

We're still talking about powers, right?

[infomodder]

[Doubles the rent tbh.]

Right.

[textualhealing]

I can't show you. Not unless you're prepared to boost my ego a whole lot.

[Which is actually ridiculously easy. It's a miracle he's not done it in the house yet.]

[infomodder]

I don't do that enough already?

[textualhealing]

Apparently not. I deserve it more.