infomodder | IC Contact [Asgard]

[It's sent around 3 AM.]

Dear Will,

I hope you'll forgive some curiosity from beyond Asgard's walls. At home, did you ever find your cases following you home? Metaphorically, of course--as nightmares, perhaps, or odd preoccupations?

Additionally, did anything strange occur in the city this evening? Perhaps around 23:00?

From beyond the wall,
Evy

[The first question is a loaded one, but one he can...work with. The second is a difficult. Did anything strange occur, that leads into feelings and he's not really that good with them.]

No, this is perfectly fine. Yes, they followed me home. It's not like taking off a suit or kicking off my heels and unzipping a pencil skirt, what have you. It's different. No matter what I'd seen before, there was always something new and something worse and sleeping eventually became something I nearly dreaded. Preoccupations happened, too. Is this curiosity or do you have similarities with that you'd like to discuss? Something strange did happen, but I'm not sure exactly what. That's not new here. I'm not surprised. Strange things happen constantly. Stay safe out there.

No, I suppose it wouldn't be. After seeing something horrific, it isn't easy to forget, is it? From what you've said, that was most of your work.

I'd like to say it's merely curiosity, but I'm afraid I'd be lying. [Finding the words to explain herself, however, has been proving difficult; there's a reason she hasn't spoken with anyone on the subject before now.]

More specifically, then: Did you lose consciousness at that time?

It's never easy to forget. There are some I might never forget as long as I live. You want to talk about what happened during the fire and how it has been impossible to shake now, is that it? We can talk about that. I may not be able to offer much helpful advice, but I would like to listen if it will help you. Don't need to feel like you're burdening me. That must have been very horrifying. Keeping it pent up may do more harm than good, and if you need an ear for a few hours, then I'd be honored to listen.

[Honored not because it's morbid, but because she chose him. He's not in it for the sick details; he hopes that much is obvious.]

That's what it felt like. I'm more familiar with it than I should be, so I thought maybe I was still sick but if it wasn't just me (seems the case) then it appears Asgard is doing it's thing again.

I'm sorry.

It's silly--I'm no stranger to nightmares, I still have them about everything that happened in Egypt. But this was...they're worse. Much worse.

I haven't spoken to anyone about it, not really, except for the time I answered questions for you. I don't know what I'd even begin to say.

It happened to us, too. I'd wondered if it was some sort of punishment from the gods for going off to Ginnungagap a second time. If you experienced something like it as well, though, it seems that's not the case.

Don't be. I knew what the job entailed when I got into it.

[...mostly. There's also the fact that no one could have predicted Hannibal Lecter.]

Whatever you tell me will be kept confidential, and I needing to discuss nightmares or having difficulty dealing with them isn't so silly. Sometimes they get so bad keeping them to ourselves is damaging. [Telling them to a crappy psychiatrist more so, but there's no worry with Will being like that.] Whatever you feel like saying, say it. Everybody needs somebody sometime.

[He's is 100% banking on her not to have heard that song.]

Guess we're really all in this together.

Lately, they've gone...I'm somewhere--somewhere in Asgard, it doesn't matter where--and everything starts to go spotty again. Everyone else goes about their business as usual, and I die.

It doesn't sound like much when I write it out, but it is. I can never seem to get back to sleep after.

What do you dream of?

[His own memory is getting spotty, things coming and going and then flooding back. For someone who spent so much time fearing not knowing who he was and recently regained it?

It's terrifying.

The reply takes a little longer than the others (which came right after hers) because he's got to get himself together. Or, as together as he currently can.]

It doesn't have to "sound like much" when you write it out. It's enough. There's no need to wax poetic or go on countless, long-winded metaphors with this. Dying while those around you carry on and don't even notice speaks for itself. [He appreciates a lack of metaphors.] I dream of the victims I've seen and how their killers ended their lives. I dream of certain victims more than others. Repairing boats. Tidal waves and water pouring from places it never could. Waking up to find that I've got five times as many dogs as I had when I went to bed.

[That's...as honest as he really should get. Can get at the moment. This is about her, not him. He doesn't want to turn it into a pity party for himself. Of course he'd have some bad dreams about his jobs. Rushing water might seem out of place, but everyone has those dreams they just can't explain, don't they? The dogs...an attempt at making it a little less heavy than it is, at least on his end.]

[Evy notices the difference in timing, and she regrets it; perhaps that was too forward to ask.

But he responds eventually, so it couldn't have been too intrusive.]

I'm sorry. Those sound like horrid things to dream of; it must take courage to continue your work in the face of things like that. [They certainly put "I'm doing the weekly shop, and then I can't breathe" to shame. Imagine dreaming of murderers' victims regularly.]

That last one sounds like it'd be rather nice, in its way, though. If one must dream of something...

[Not forward, but this is bad. This is about her nightmares, not his. He wants it to stay about her as much as it can. Asgard might be one hell (Hel?) of a mess right now, but he doesn't need to let anyone know

how much of a personal mess it is

It's not all about Will Graham anyway.]

It's just part of the job. Having a psychiatrist isn't so uncommon. [His? Pretty damn uncommon.] So if you're thinking about all of this, it must be bugging you really badly. Is it making your trip difficult? Are you having a hard time of it?

[She'll take the slight change in subject, in part because she doesn't notice--Will's answer set off her own internal "this is bad" sensor, and that's where her focus is now. Evy doesn't want it to sound as though her dreams are bothering her that much; she's put a lot of effort into proving to herself and everyone around her that she's fine.

People die in Asgard constantly. She doesn't want to be the one who can't manage to move on from that fact.]

No--no, nothing like that. [Lies. She's been extra tired at least one morning because of them.] I was reminded of them, though, and I was curious about your experiences.

[Curious at 3 AM. Yep.]

["Curious" at 3AM. Curiosity isn't all bad, no, but it rarely happens just for its own sake, in Will's case. It swings negative or positive, but curiosity is rarely neutral.]

Something happen to remind you of it?

[What's going on over there? He has no idea. If it's not that, then he has to assume that she really did just need to talk about it to someone who, what? Might understand, all his death business taken into account?]

I had one.

[That's probably explanation enough, she suspects. She'd needed some way to deal with it that wasn't sitting awake for hours, considering how long a walk she had waiting for her in the morning,and writing to Will was the best she could come up with at the moment.]

[Had one too far away for him to be of any help other than a talk. Couldn't come over for something to eat and drink and actual human (ish?) contact. She had to have plenty of people around her to get that from, to sit near or just exist near and know she wasn't alone.

If she had that ability in the first place.]

Do you know when you're coming back? I moved out of Sigyn so I could sort of properly entertain you for dinner or breakfast or whichever.

[This hasn't been an easy hike, and the last thing she wants to do is wake anyone from their needed rest in the middle of the night. But being surrounded by sleeping men and women (and the occasional child) has only served to make her feel more isolated, rather than less.]

We'll be out here a while longer, I suspect.

But when we return, I'd like that. Where are you living now?

[Surrounded by people and yet completely alone.

Ah, yes, the things they can discuss in regards to that.]

Odin, actually. Dr. Whale is one of my roommates. He's one of Baldr's. We met shortly after he arrived. The other one is a man named Athelstan from a very very different period of time than either of us. He was my suitemate in Sigyn and I couldn't leave him behind. And a few dogs. You can bring your cat, if you want. They're well-behaved.

[One just happens to be enormous is all.]

Athelstan and I have met, but I'm afraid I don't know Dr. Whale.

I don't know how Amewbis would take being brought to a strange place filled with dogs. We might have to have one over to him first--acclimate him to the idea.

[It hits him: if Evy comes over, she might be in a house of three men. Is that an issue? Should she come over at certain hours or...?

That's probably more important to figure out than whether or not three dogs can handle a cat.]

He's a good guy. I'm a little worried about how he'll deal with some of the people here from eras that aren't like his. It seems like an extra cherry on the being smuggled away in the first place sundae.

[Note to self: make Athelstan a sundae]

Fine by me. He's probably bigger than Samantha, she can be his introduction. Did you leave him with someone when you went off? Should I go check in on him?

[Evy would be pretty sure it doesn't really matter, provided everyone present is a gentleman--and while she doesn't know Whale, she doesn't think she has any reason to be concerned with Will or Athelstan.]

It must be a great shift in thinking for him, coming here. When we spoke, it seemed as though it would be easier to count the things he didn't find baffling than the ones he did. But he seems a decent enough fellow.

You know, I think he is the larger of the two of them. A few days after I return, perhaps, we can introduce them; I doubt I'll have much energy for it immediately after.

Oh, no, he's fine. I've asked a Mr. Farrow to watch him whilst I'm away.

[Well.]

I'm just worried people will end up treating him strangely because of it is all. Not like he's weird strangely, but talking down to him strangely, you know what I mean? Treating him like a child instead of an adult just because he's not used to all this stuff. Wasn't. We've been working on that since the three of us started living together. As long as he's taken care of, that's what matters. [Who the fuck is Mr. Farrow, he can't think of him. Investigation may be in order if he doesn't forget about it in the next forty seconds.] Is there anything I can do for you now other than offer to listen more about your nightmares? Do you wanna go in depth?

Yes, I know what you mean. I hope that doesn't prove to be the case; we didn't speak long, but he was clearly quite intelligent. Having the pair of you around to answer questions should help, though.

[The fact that Ryan Farrow has two cats seems like more than enough qualification to feed Mewby dinner until she returns, no investigation necessary.]

Everything you've done already is kind enough, Will. I do appreciate it. I'm not sure I want to talk more about them, though--not now, anyway. These forests are eerie enough without going in depth about nightmares within them.

We're both very familiar with the sorts of appliances used here. We'll make sure he figures them out soon enough.

[But who is he??

There's something very very strange about him being called kind, and the moment he thinks he can pinpoint it is the moment it gets hazy and he has to start all over again. So he chooses to ignore saying one way or the other and goes for something else instead. Something good but, for him, not so good. He's ignoring that, too.]

My psychiatrist back home told me once that the mirrors in my mind could reflect the best of me, not to the worst of others. No matter what your nightmares are and how they factor into the creepiness of the forests, try to remember that. It helped me.

[Sort...of...

It's an attempt to tell her not to grow paranoid from creepy trees without saying as much.]

Edited 2014-05-12 17:46 (UTC)

And the rest of it, too, I hope. Some of the mores here might be a bit of a shock.

[It takes her some time to reply to the rest of it, but she does eventually.]

Thank you, Will. I'll keep that in mind.

IC Contact [Asgard]

[day 442; text; private]

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