infomodder | ic contact 2 mask or menace

So, you bending me over your knee is... are you hitting on me, Will?

[He is all over that 'something'. Spanking in the context of 'something' is his favourite. Just... not with Will, sorry bro. Sharkbait's nose, however, is totally a better way to divert his attention, following Will's gaze to stare at the snorting, snoozing bulldog.]

[There's a pause. With almost comical timing, Will tears his eyes from Sharkbait's wigglytough self, staring up at Jeff with sheer confusion. The muted sort Will always displays, of course, but it's quite obvious to anyone who knows him well he's having a moment where he doesn't understand something (or anything) and can't keep it off his face. A moment where the gears of his mind spin damn near out of control as he attempts to make sense of it...and then he actually laughs, running a hand over his face.]

Jesus Christ. [Cut up by the laughter and muffled by his hand but still easily understood. The groaned sigh isn't burdened or displeased; sounds more like a noise of relief. It's good to laugh once in a while.] That was...that was a turn of phrase, Jeff. I don't actually. I wouldn't...

[Will's corporal punishment is lethal, so. No. He'd like to not have to unleash the wrath of the lamb ever again. Especially not one someone he cared about.]

You aren't my type. You don't have to worry about...that. From me.

[His type is April. That's why he put a ring on her. Eat that, Hannibal.]

[Aw, look at all that laughter and facepalming, it's almost a rare sight these days, especially in the last few weeks with all the shit that's been going on. Jeff's happy to smirk back at the amusement, eyes rolling with good nature because omg, Will, you adorable derp.]

I'm just screwing with you, Will. I don't honestly thing you've got a thing for me. [But Jeff sure has a thing for you, babycakes.] And even if you did, I'd be all over it. Nothing wrong with a good bromance to spice things up.

[He's not used to expressions of love from tall dudes coming from anything other than brutality, okay, give him a break. Actual bros are still a weird thing to him. Jeff isn't going to drive him up a wall to see if he'll murder somebody or try to eat him, that's just weird.]

Other than having to tell April what we've done. [He tsks like he's correcting a minor math error on a pre-test than anything else.] That whole infidelity aspect...or is that part of the spice?

[Not gonna force Will into cannibalism or murder or make him have seizures, Jeff really doesn't have to try too hard to be a good friend by Will's usual standards and he appreciates it.]

Who says she won't know from the start? She can be part of it. Watch, or join in if she'd prefer. We're all friends here, Will.

[The lack of effort will take him everywhere. A lack of effort includes a lack of effort to ruin everything Will loves, so. How can Jeff go wrong here?]

Is that a hypothetical you've thought about a lot, Jeff?

[So flat, so dry, so nonchalant.]

Surprisingly not. You guys are a cute couple, I wouldn't wanna stand in the way of that, even though your wife is super hot.

[And he means that with the greatest respect, because bros can tell bros that they have hot ladies, right?]

I don't know about cute, but... [A sharp inhale through his teeth.] ...April is super hot, that's right on the mark.

[The only reason "super hot" doesn't sound awfully old man-like is because he parrots Jeff saying it as a defense mechanism.]

Edited 2016-02-01 03:47 (UTC)

[Aw, but Will saying 'super hot' still sounds adorable.]

Yeah, so you can be safe in the knowledge that I won't be trying to pounce any threesomes onto you anytime soon. You just enjoy all that time you get with your wife. I'll just sit here. Alone. And sad. And alone.

[Will looks up at Jeff at that, one finger wriggling under Sharkbait's drooling mouth flaps to scratch his chins.]

You're not sitting here alone and sad right now.

[No pity parties when he's literally right here, bro. Jeff knows how to knock on the door or just barge in when he needs to. There is no reason to be sad or alone in Casa Ludgate-Graham. It's almost like it was designed that way...]

[That Sharkbait petting is surely just an excuse to get closer to touching Jeff's abs.]

You're not exactly my type though, Will. Good companion, don't get me wrong, but not exactly the kind of lady I'm looking for. I mean, we could try putting a wig on you...? But the beard would get pretty distracting.

[Obviously it's a subtle move into foreplay, yes. Good job, Jeff, you figured out the mysterious empathetic Will Graham where others are still miles behind.]

I'd offer to shave, but April likes the beard. [Sorry buddy, April's needs come first.] And I like not shaving. [He likes being lazy as hell about this particular habit, he means. Same thing.] It'd be a wig my usual hair color, right? Or would you go for something off the beaten path?

[Pink? Green? Long and curly and red???? NO.]

I'm thinking something long and blonde. You might make a pretty good blonde, but you can now see my issue with the beard. Wouldn't match.

[Because obviously the only thing keeping Jeff away from Will is the beard. Nothing to do with him being married and also male.]

Maybe see if April likes the wig idea. Might be be something different one night.

[He pulls a face as he thinks this over, still idly scratching the jiggling jowls of Sir Droolbutt, as comfortable and content as he'd be lounging in his own bed in spite of such invasive conversation. After a few moments of clear Deep Thinking...]

Maybe I will. [Said lightly, the idea of looking a bit lady-ish not at all one that bothers him. Lightly enough that it could be taken as a joke, even, but nope. This will be a conversation again one day and he knows better than to crawl back into Jeff's bed to give him a full report on what April would do with him while he wore a Lady Gaga wig like the monster he is.] Later, though. She's already aware this is a boy's night in.

[Literally a boy's night in Jeff's bed but who's counting?]

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