infomodder | ic contact 2 mask or menace

I'm alive.

[This is probably a really shitty standard, considering how much a human being can survive and still be considered alive. But Baltimore is a place of darkness and despair, so he'll take it.]

Thanks for throwing my name at him, by the way. It's appreciated.

[He means that genuinely, he just doesn't think to add as much.]

I imagined you wouldn't be hiding. And I figured there was no point in hiding myself and my association. He would find out eventually.

What steps are you taking to ensure the safety of your family?

[ Not just immediate. Raina's talking about extended. Raina's talking about Chilton, mainly. ]

Edited 2015-09-16 03:10 (UTC)

You're right. He would. I'll do whatever I can to keep them safe. But my family has skills granted by the Porter, just like everyone else. I have always trusted them to use those skills if they're needed. This is no different.

[If Chilton hit him with a convoy of semis, then good. Or a bulldozer! Bulldozer would be GREAT. Will doesn't want to have to move to a place in Baltimore and live out the rest of his days here tracking Hannibal's every move and giving him exhausted sighs whenever he realizes that there was a people in the freezer because Will has to sleep sometime.]

Why you, Will? What is it that has him so fascinated by you? What is it that will cause him to target those you love just to get to you?

Edited 2015-09-18 00:01 (UTC)

[A few minutes' delay wherein Will debates the merits of honesty here, with Raina, who's revealed bits and piece of herself...or the easiest answer to give anyone who'd ask. Perhaps it might not be enough, but he can at least try.]

It's complicated.

[Such try.]

Now really isn't the time to throw a blanket response over the scenario, Will.

[Another few minutes. And then, finally:]

He thinks we're alike.

Is that because of what you can do? Or has he infected your mind?

And I don't mean that question in a judgmental way. If he has, I want to help you. I want to make absolutely certain he does not weaponize you.

All of us have been infected.

[That doesn't mean certain concerns are paranoid instead of valid, of course, but Alana was the one to compare Hannibal to poison and Will believes that holds true. With each and every person who's come across him, who has suffered at his hand or the hand of a proxy. Abigail, Frederick, and Will have all been infected in different ways and to different degrees, but they all share same the toxin in their veins. Will isn't the only one Raina should be concerned over. Assuming the relationship is the same...she's sleeping next to a man with the same infection as Will. She should know. She should be aware.]

If your worry is I'll lash out against Frederick in a more lasting way than verbally, you can rest easy. Not in the plan. I'm curious how you think you could help, though.

But you don't have to be infected anymore, do you? You've built yourself a life here. A real, peaceful life. One with a family -- with April, and Jeff. With Abigail.

Because you love her. And he took her from you. Because he'll keep trying to take the things you love from you, and you need to not let that happen.

I can help you because I'm not infected. Neither is April or Jeff. We are the outsiders, drawn into your world but not yet taken. I can help you remove the problem because that is what I do, and I'm not afraid to get my hands a little dirty doing so. I want what you want, Will. The safety and security of those we love.

You don't have to face this all alone.

[They're such pretty, lovely words she gives him, even if he detects a hint of something quite ugly underneath. Still, there is no beauty without ugliness, no ugliness without beauty. Those two often go hand-in-hand, some are just more transparent about it.]

Removing the problem can only be done by removing him, Raina. You know there's a chance that won't be possible here. The safety and security of those we love is easier to obtain by showing courtesy than anything else.

[Half-truths and pipe dreams, all of it. Will knows.]

Unless that isn't what you were implying when you mentioned getting your hands dirty?

[He has nothing and everything to say in regards to her last bit, so he chooses to leave it as is.]

By now it should come as no surprise to you that I am a monster just like him.

[ She has no qualms when it comes to murder, when it comes to convincing other men to murder, to do what it takes to get the answers she's after in the scientific field. Hannibal Lecter murdered for fun. He persuaded and tore down the lives of those around him.

And in the end, hasn't Raina done much of the same things in her life? The only difference is the motivations. The only difference is that her love for Chilton isn't manipulative in the same way as Hannibal's love for Will happens to be. And although Raina wants to dig up and inspire Chilton to be the truest and darkest monster he can be, she won't resort to the same methods Hannibal subjected Will to. That evolution will happen naturally through whispered persuasions until he unlocks his truest potential.

But at least she doesn't think his truest potential is becoming a cannibalistic murderer. That's only Hannibal's special brand of thought. ]

I had a feeling you were different.

[Different is about as polite as it gets, really. He won't use something like "wrong" even if that's fitting, because insulting isn't on his agenda right now. Different, atypical, abnormal, wrong, whatever. None of them are wholly right—what a boring world that would be.]

I can't control you, and I won't ever try to.

[Danger, danger, Will Graham.]

You have to decide what is best for you. You have an intelligence as sharp as your looks are beautiful. I don't think if you put your mind to something, I could truly stop you. I feel you should know, however, that if there ever comes a time when hands need to get in dirty in regards to Hannibal Lecter, I won't be one to shy away from doing just that. I simply don't think such an approach is the best. Not now. Even if it would feel righteous and justified, it may make for a much worse time of things. If you had other ideas, I'm not opposed to hearing them.

[He's just not sure what can be done in the case of this particular infection, when the infection makes up the majority of his blood. When it's as vital as breath, and a beating heart, food, drink. When pulling Hannibal out of his veins would be murder because he's that embedded inside of Will.

Chilton is right to have worries.]

[ Different is certainly a way to put it. Different makes her smile because it isn't offensive to be different. Inhuman. A monster on the outside as much as she is one on the inside. Different from most of humanity is what she's always aspired to be. And it was just unfortunate that her dream turned out to be her curse. This place is a blessing, though, giving her back her human appearance. ]

No, I do agree that it is best to wait and see what happens. The only problem with this method is that it puts you at a greater risk and gives you more exposure.

[ And Raina isn't so sure that she trusts Will's assurance that he won't shy away from dirtying his hands in regards to Hannibal Lecter. Maybe for him as a puppet of murder. Maybe he would even kill her now that she had exposed so much to him. But then, at least, she would know there is no hope for Will Graham and when she revives (because Raina won't accept a possibility that she won't), she will know to change her methods.

There's a pause before she suggests what might possibly be worse than outright murdering Hannibal Lecter: ]

This world is full of many individuals. Some of which may very well fit Hannibal Lecter's particular brand of interest. He views fellow humans as pigs. But how will he view those who aren't human? Those who are gods? Those who are devils?

I don't think his attention toward you will waver unless a replacement can take your place. If there are more fascinating toys to play with and break, his focus would then shift. Therefore, I suggest you find and introduce him to a more interesting toy.

[It is actually a pretty terrible suggestion, yes. An extremely brutal one. Will has the advantage of understanding Hannibal, of knowing there may be something less than pleasant in any given dinner invitation. The hell of blood and suffering Will Graham has waded through is one he wouldn't shuffle off to another. It would be both unfair and insulting. To Hannibal and to himself. There was a time in Will's life where he floated by, did his best, struggled but ultimately survived. Then Hannibal came and imagining a life truly separate from him, eventually, became...difficult.

The idea that there is someone who could fill the same gap Will does is offensive. He hadn't realized how offensive until just now, until he rereads her words over and over, until he has to in order to settle. A more interesting toy than Will Graham? One to replace him, like he is nothing other than expendable? Like his entire allure isn't how human he is, the delight in changing a human to something more, something higher, a god among men to be trusted and relied on, to hunt and run with? An equal who isn't Will Graham? How upsetting.

How dismal a thought. To be replaced. Even to be replaced for a monster's whims and delight.]

You might be onto something.

[He bites his cheek, toes curled. The sharp taste of blood is ignored.]

We'll see, in time, who catches his eye and who doesn't. Easier to work with instead of abruptly shoving someone at him.

[She might be onto something advantageous for Will, too. If he ever got truly aggravated with anyone, if he ever had a situation he couldn't solve on his own...who better to confide his woes and stress in than Hannibal Lecter? As always, for every bit of good (if this could be considered good for anyone but Will, of course) there is an undercurrent of wicked. But such is the way of monsters. Raina would understand, surely, as long as any irritations he let slip were never pointed in the directions of herself or those she cared for.]

[ This sounds like stalling. This sounds like Will avoiding. This sounds like Will not exactly despising the position he's being put in. And perhaps Frederick is right and Will can no longer be relied on. But Hannibal isn't the only one who can change the hearts of men. And perhaps the key here is to put herself in a position that's closer to Will, to exert her influence over him. To draw him in to her murderous lifestyle and let him close to the monster she hides. Isn't that how Hannibal won him over? ]

Frederick is convinced that I will be of interest to him. And although I tried to assure him he's the only one who finds me so fascinating, it won't deter his belief that I am an exquisite and exotic taste -- humanoid enough to hide my inhuman qualities.

The logical conclusion was to ensure that he's too busy with you that he can't focus on either of us. But that solution simply doesn't sit right with me. You selflessly offered to take care of things if my life were to come into danger -- if my premonition about Lucifer came true. Never before in my whole life has someone so bravely offered to protect me. The only one I could rely on to protect me has been me and me alone. I don't want to lose you, Will.

What I suggested is just an idea. The only real idea I have. I'm at a loss about what to do, but I know I have to do something.

I've made a career out of protecting people, usually after others have been brutally murdered. The closer I am to someone, the more inclined I am to do whatever it takes to see they don't come to harm. It's not selfless or brave, Raina. It's just what I do.

[He likes this world for that, sometimes. He's no longer coming to scenes after the fact and working from there, not like he was back home. It's refreshing, and it's more refreshing to have the freedom to keep an eye on his people and prevent, protect, before they get abducted and suffer. Before they can get in too deep and have their reputations slaughtered in the newspaper. Raina is on his radar because of Chilton, it's true. But if they were to break up, she'd still be stuck on it. Short of breaking up via hurting him in some unforgivable way, of course. Then that would change things.]

Can you not trust that I know him well? I know his methods and what to watch for that might go unnoticed by anyone else? If you can't, can you trust if I need help in a more immediate way, I will let you know? Would that be an agreeable outcome for you right now?

[Not actually lying, but. With Hannibal, it might be too late, if anything comes to a head. Still, it's the thought that counts! Right?]

[ Will claims it's not selfless or brave. He claims that protecting people is what he does. But isn't it the same thing in the end? Whether out of obligation or compassion, he's still acting on the behalf of others. And that's certainly more than Raina will do for others. ]

I do trust that you know him well. I trust in that more than anything. You have gone into his mind, into his heart and you've seen that darkness. But one can never escape that darkness without losing some of their light. And that's what I'm afraid of.

More than that, I don't believe you will come to me if you need help. I believe you don't wish to involve others at all. You take the burden onto your shoulders and protect everyone, but if you're so busy protecting all of us, who protects you?

You do, when you throw my name out instead of asking if he knows Frederick as well. Frederick does, when he cut me loose. Abigail does, by removing herself from the situation. April does, by avoiding him and trusting me to tell her if anything happens.

[Not exactly what she meant, he figures, but it's true. For him. The less who involve themselves and instead leave it to Will? They're protecting him even as they protect themselves or others. Will has crossed some rather severe lines, has struggled with who he is and isn't. Protecting Will sometimes means taking others out of harm's way, and he can be harmful. With Hannibal around, even more so.

He does not say the most troubling thought that crosses his mind when she asks. Hannibal protects him. In his own way, and from everyone and everything but Hannibal himself, but there's a protectiveness there just the same. He can recognize it, and recognize how Goddamn terrible it is.]

You're doing it right now, too. By approaching me instead of listening to whispers. Getting the story from someone else and making conclusions that could be false. See?

[ There's a pause, and it's a pause of frustration. It feels like neither Will nor Chilton see her as capable of being relied on. And it's so tempting to show him the monster she truly is. The physical monster. Except there's also a fear that if she does inform him, so too will Hannibal Lecter know.

So she refrains, but does not remain any less frustrated. ]

I will entrust you with this then. But I'm doing so reluctantly. You have your own methods for dealing with this and him, and in good faith I will believe you know how to handle him and you know what you're doing.

However, I want to make one thing absolutely clear. If any harm befalls Frederick because of your association with Hannibal Lecter or his poisoning of your mind, I will kill you. If that is the only way I'll be able to save you, I won't hesitate for even a second.

[Nah, it's not that. In coming days Will has yet experience, even people who have dealt with Hannibal Lecter and been left with nightmares because of him will refer to him as Will's monster. Will doesn't rely on anybody when it comes to Hannibal. Shit, that's how everything went wrong in the first place. Other than Will lying. He can rely on them to be true to their nature and hopefully stay away, do what they must if he comes across them. Aside from that? No, no, it's always Hannibal and Will and no one else in the end.]

That's fair [No it isn't, but he won't argue.] as long as you realize and understand that I won't roll over and let you. I won't hesitate for even a second, either, Raina.

[kiss kiss]

The obvious solution is to ensure Frederick's safety, really. I would rather it not come to such a messy conclusion. I do like you, Will.

The feeling is mutual. But it is a gift when others see us as who and what we are. I wouldn't deny you that any more than I would give you an easy high on power. Where is the thrill for your monster if this came to pass and I went down without any fuss?

Always accommodating everyone else's needs. You really are something special, Will. I can honestly say I've never met anyone quite like you.

When there's something in it for me as well, it seems counterproductive and downright stupid to refuse accommodation for the needs of others. I can't seem to think of anyone else I've met quite like you, either, Raina. I don't imagine that will change should I ever bear witness to the monster you keep.

[Such...compliments..in some strange world...]

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