infomodder | IC contact [Mask or Menace]

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"Gone fishing."

[ so don't leave messages to ruin the after fishing glow !!!

your one stop shop for not leaving him alone ]

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[ She manages a sound that borders on a laugh of relief and a sob. The two are pretty indistinguishable at this point. ]

It was horrible. The things I saw...

[ And she doesn't want to burden him with that. Just an illusion, a hallucination. Nothing more. She draws in a long, labored breath. ]

Who is he? This man. At the Swear In, under the influence of the Iamos plant, Frederick was able to share with me a memory. He showed me a dinner. He told me what that dinner was. But he didn't tell me much more than that. And I don't think it was because he won't. We just changed the subject. I didn't press. Maybe I should have pressed. But maybe that would make what I saw worse.

[ God. Get a grip, Raina. She squares her shoulders and fights to gain control of her emotions and her words. ]

So who is he to you and to him? If you can share that much, I would appreciate it.

He was my psychiatrist. Unofficially, at first, we just...had conversations. Changed after I knew who he really was.

[Which probably sounds really, really, really messed up and not at all reassuring that Raina isn't speaking to someone who would have stood right beside Hannibal serving up his Chilton dinner, but oh well. Hopefully the way Will says it works against any truly terrible impressions, grave and grim and moderately disturbed but having had time to accept it for what it was. If she imagines him pinching the bridge of his nose, running a hand over his face, she's right. This isn't an easy topic despite Hannibal Lecter having once been almost the only topic Will wanted to talk about.]

He was...popular in certain circles. Psychiatric, culinary, he—Frederick already told you that part. He thought Hannibal was one of his friends. A brilliant psychiatrist friend who made wonderful meals isn't exactly easy to come across. One you can trust with anything. Rely on. He's...

[Nothing more isolating than mental illness. Except for Hannibal Lecter, a plague unto himself.]

...not a topic I'd advise you to press Frederick on, Raina. Whatever you've seen would get worse. He doesn't even talk about Hannibal with me.

[Chilters sux :'(]

[ Raina's not terribly sure how to read Will's tone -- what conclusions to draw there. Because it isn't as though Raina wasn't attracted to her fair share of psychos. So she really can't judge him for anything. Hell, it sounds like she's hit the jackpot as far as information goes -- the one thing that truly connects Will and Chilton. It's not simply the place they come from, but this man. ]

I have no intentions of asking Frederick anything more on the subject. Or telling him about any of this. It's why I came to you.

[ And she hopes that Will won't say anything either. But he's a good dog. A loyal dog. And if Chilton so much as asks, Raina's sure the dog will spill. She hasn't done a thing to earn his loyalty. ]

Your Hannibal had plenty of time to shine in the darkness of my nightmares. But I'm curious to know -- if he were to arrive in this world, do you anticipate him continuing down the same paths he tread in Baltimore?

[Will's fine being thought of as completely loyal to his people in that way, even though he's certainly not. He's been content for Chilton to think he'd actually leak Freddie's file without her permission. In the end, Will has to be given a damn good reason not to come when called, not to snarl and snap and lose his mind on behalf of the others from Baltimore. But it's nice that little bits and pieces of what could be seen as dangerous have been revealed time and time again so hopefully no one grows too complacent in the idea he's just a dumb sad lug for them. He'll tell Chilton what Will feels he needs to know and nothing else. He did the same with Jack Crawford. He lied to Hannibal's face.

And he just kept lying. So if Raina is coming to him and intends to keep it secret? Will does too, unless a damn good reason (in his mind) crops up.]

What paths? He's [my BFF] a murderer and a cannibal, has been since before he ever set foot in Baltimore. I don't see him changing course [ZING] or stopping until he's unable to. [Horrifying facts spoken like he's reading out of a history book, a case he's only moderately invested in. Instead of one he's personally tied up in, even worlds away. It's better for Raina if Will can keep something stable going on, he feels. This isn't his time to indulge in what could be a sob or a laugh, this isn't...commiserating.] To be honest with you, Raina, I spend a lot of time doing everything I can to not think about what could happen if he ever returns. There are too many variables and I'd never sleep at all if I started getting into them too deeply.

[ But they need to think about it. Because she needs to come up with a plan, okay. It's all fine and dandy to ignore it and hope it never happens, but Raina's far too shaken by her imagination's conjurings to sit idly by. And especially since Will pretty much outright admitted that even the new variable of superheroes wouldn't stop Hannibal from his...habits. ]

Do you know why he does it? Is it an act of power or control? Or an act of appreciation? Or even, from what I've seen, his idea of art?

[They have a plan, though. The plan is: Will Graham goes under the bus. Even if Chilton won't throw him there, he'll throw himself there (waxing poetic about forgiveness) to prevent Abigail from trying to do it first. But depending on what Hannibal comes in knowing, it could be more difficult. Either way, it's a great plan that in no way backfired last time it was put into use and everything will go fine.

Haha yeah right.

That question spurs a laugh out of him, brief and completely robbed of any joy. Raina has indeed hit the jackpot, asking Will about Hannibal Lecter, and the cold, distant way he spoke before like this was all just history and not extremely personal is starting to ebb away.]

Power, control, his idea of art—not appreciation. Not usually. [If he ever ate Will, he figures, there would be something appreciative there. Hannibal's probably eaten a few who almost got him, too. They might have been rude, but they were also clever, and Hannibal can appreciate cleverness...after he takes control of the situation and makes sure the cleverness never works against him again, of course.] Hannibal finds discourtesy ugly, and makes a habit of eating the rude. Who he eats, for the most part, are people he considers to be on the same level of pigs. Is it really cannibalism, then, to—

[And abruptly, Will cuts off on that line of thought. Because even though Will's absolutely used to getting into the minds of the seriously deranged as a distraction from his own mind slowly unraveling, and even though Raina is asking...whatever's messed with her head in the first place might not do well to go down that track.]

—are you sure this is what you wanna talk about?

[He skipped the niceties, and he's not really fond of the question "are you okay?" but he can at least extend this much. She might be getting more than she asked for. She might not want a full spiel from a criminal profiler.

And, in his own way, by avoiding the dreaded are you okay? he's still asking it, a variation. Are you okay with this? isn't the same, but. She can take it as either and he won't be fussed about it.]

I'm sure.

[ She says it firmly, almost coldly. Raina probably isn't in the state of mind to add more nightmare fuel to the fire, but then again, she doesn't anticipate sleeping without a wide array of medications. The hallucinations have stopped, thankfully. It's just her. And Will. And Mary being a nosy creep. Hi, Mary. ]

People he considers to be on the same level as pigs -- go on.

[ She sits up straighter; she braces herself for the gruesome insight -- all the while concerned by one singular comment Will made. Hannibal makes a habit of eating the rude. ]

[All right then. It's her choice. If this ever gets back to Chilton and he has any complaints about it, Will's going to make that part very clear. Choice is important, good Lord have mercy is it ever important. He doesn't even add that if it gets to a point and she wants to change topic, speak up. He figures she knows.]

Pigs, yes. Not prey or people, just pigs. [And he's back to the lecture tone, as much as he can be. If Raina imagined he would be a slightly grumpy-sounding teacher, well, she's right. That's what she's getting right now. The teacher who didn't get a good night's sleep, or he just graded a bunch of tests and realized his class is full of lazy folks who didn't do their homework. Grouch grouch, not the sort of the teacher students flock to after class, the one who goes out for coffee with them or becomes a close mentor figure later on.] You don't feel bad when you eat bacon, do you? Ham. Pulled pork. You're not threatened by pigs, either. Pigs are so far down the food chain, we breed them specifically to eat, thoughtlessly, because we don't have any worries they'll strike back. They're not intelligent enough, or equipped. We control them and feel no guilt for it. Why would we? They exist because we let them. If they're slaughtered and give life back to something greater than a pig, that's how it should be.

So it goes with him and most of his victims, his long pigs. He knows what he's doing is, yes, wrong. And would get him in a world of trouble if someone shined a light on him. It's very difficult, though, to put together compelling evidence when he continually eats that evidence.

[ Raina doesn't answer Will's question, assuming it to be hypothetical. She wasn't a pork eater, after all. Though she can understand the analogy, it is pretty unnerving how deeply Will can understand Hannibal. It paints the perfect picture, yes. But still. How deep into insanity must one dive in order to be able to empathize with a cannibalistic killer? And how much gets sacrificed in order to resurface? ]

So does he believe himself to be above everyone? Or are there some who he considers equals?

[ Like you is the unspoken here. ]

And in Hannibal's eyes...

[ Here is the dreaded question. Raina forces herself to ask it. ]

...is Frederick nothing more than one of those pigs?

[He's all geared up to talk about Hannibal, the mindset of the Ripper, to speak at length about cannibalism and the way he sees his pigs, he is prepared for that conversation. But then Raina has to go and ask that, about someone specific. About someone who means something specific to her. She jumps his train of thought to a much darker topic, and momentarily pulls him up short. He goes quiet, almost like he has to actually think this over. He doesn't, he's just...trying to put together the words.]

God no. [Crude, yes, but hopefully that crudeness serves as emphasis. Emphasis and some bit of proof that Will's not lying, not just trying to reassure her.] Frederick isn't an equal, either. I don't think anyone really is.

[Not even Will. Will, who is definitely speaking quite a lot on behalf of the Ripper. He's not just talking about a serial killer who's profile he knew extensively, he's talking about someone he thought was his best friend. So if there's ever an odd inflection where it seems like he's almost speaking in his defense here, well. Betrayal hits hard, doesn't it?]

Doesn't mean he's a pig, not at all. He's too keen. And useful. Plenty between pig and equal in his eyes, same array as there is between magnolia and kudzu.

[ Raina lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Useful, Will says. But what happens when the usefulness runs out? As the floral analogy once again came rearing its head, though, Raina smiles a little -- although its unseen. ]

Thank you.

[ It's soft and appreciative. Will can't ease Raina's fears and doubts completely, but this is at least better than being left to wonder and worry. ]

I was...

[ She trails off, tentative. Should she tell Will? Will who terminated his therapy sessions with Chilton, whose mind, Chilton claimed was poisoned by Crane. Was Will simply looking for a replacement Hannibal? From the way he talked, it seemed as though a hole was missing out of his life -- the cannibal had eaten away at Will far deeper than simply eating his flesh, perhaps leaving Will to find something to fill it.

But then again, it was fairly obvious that something had attacked Raina's mind. And that something wasn't simply some mental ailment or premonition gone wrong. ]

This was an attack. A deliberate attack on me, Will. I believe Frederick to be the central piece and those surrounding him will become targets as well. So please, exercise caution. For both yourself and those close to you.

[He's silent, completely, though Raina's bound to pick up a dog barking in the distance. Not a warning or fear, just general dog barking. Life goes on.

Chilton had given him the go ahead to discuss with April, if Will was deemed important enough to discuss elsewhere, he imagined Raina already knew. So any mention of how Will worked with law enforcement, she could give him a name, she could snap her fingers and point him in the right direction and he could make a few calls, Will would put his nose to the dirt, she just had to say the words...wouldn't be difficult. And considering it feels like this won't be going anywhere else in the first place, all the more inviting. Because either she'll say no for lies or unspoken reasons, or it'll seem important enough to report back. Perhaps Raina feels little guilt over having a conversation behind her significant other's back (and really, Will wouldn't have any guilt about this sort of thing himself), but if he even starts hinting that he might be moving against Chilton, sincerely, playing his own game within a bigger game...spurring on fears and doubts instead of easing them, how would she handle that?

But there are just certain things that aren't to be done to people who clearly have had their mind recently scrambled. Will never appreciated it being done to him, and Raina isn't standing in his way here. There's no reason to do it or even think about it other than curiosity and having had a cannibal eat away at him. Which he's thinking of more than just the conversation. If Crane made Chilton see Hannibal, is it possible that Crane somehow made Raina see this vision of Hannibal, too? Did Crane get them both? Could he make it so Will also saw Hannibal? It's been so long since he's seen Hannibal in anything but dream or hallucination...]

You're welcome, and thank you for the warning. [Honestly a nice change of pace from people surrounding Will being targets, this is sort of refreshing.] If you have any other questions about Doctor Lecter or Baltimore that Frederick isn't forthcoming with, you're free to ask. Hell, anything I can personally help with, let me know, too. And hopefully you do more than recover from this attack.

[Not strike back, nah. Grow. The aim of all things that live and move through good and bad.]

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