IC contact [Mask or Menace]

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"Gone fishing."

[ so don't leave messages to ruin the after fishing glow !!!

your one stop shop for not leaving him alone ]

Comments

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[Bless. But, hey, good thing fake Andy doesn't want to deal with horny crickets?]

where are you hating everything?

[aggressiveapathy]

in bed

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you want some company or have the furry caballeros got that covered?

[aggressiveapathy]

idk
it's just the world being dumb
no secret murder friend you have to hide from
or whatever

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[das rude]

no secret murder friend to hide from
no real business in the shop
i can close down and come back if you want
pick up something on the way if you need anything, too

[aggressiveapathy]

bring the dog
and another dog
we need more

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pet adoption can take hours
why don't i just bring gunther and we can plan going out to find one whenever you hate everything less?

[He can't just steal a dog in broad daylight!]

[aggressiveapathy]

ugh
i don't care
there needs to be adorable animals here

[ God, will. you reasonable person ]

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[Just wait, April. Abigail is going to be AWOL for a full week, which means an extra cat named after David Bowie will be chilling in the bed of sadness.]

i'll see what i can do & be there in a half hour
deal?

[Does she know he's currently thinking of that one dog he's been staring at frequently in the nearby pet shop like is he that obvious because now he's thinking of it and if he just flashes the whole imPort thing maybe

maybe it'll go really quick maybe he can do that maybe April will enjoy a cute ugly fluffy dog????]

[aggressiveapathy]

[ there is zero wrong with any of these plans ]

i'll be the blanket fort
with the tv
and xbox

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[And Will does take a full thirty minutes to make his way back to the blanket fort with its accoutrements of the youth. His hair isn't as badly screaming hat hair as usual, having not spent the full day at work with a tacky, stupid hat on his head, but it's still rather a mess. Gunther lopes through the door first, headed straight for April, intent to curl around her or close to her if there are raccoons in the way. But Will, oh, he waits. Pauses. Stands there for a moment with a container in his hand full of wooden chips that looks like it came right out of that room. As if he gave up and failed so badly he brought her cute bugs, that wouldn't be an improper conclusion to make. No other dog to be seen, and Will certainly wouldn't put a puppy in one of those things.

But then he pops the lid open and comes around to squat first, slowly, still working around that destroyed gut of his as opposed to groaning, old person's bones protesting he dare do anything without taking his joint juice first. Peering out are two pairs of eyes belonging to two hamsters who look the exact same, some identical twin hamster set going on here. She said adorable animals, he did the best he could, Goddamnit.]

They were calling them teddy bear hamsters.

[This is his offering, and despite a steady voice and movements void of any hesitation...clearly, he's hoping he did well. Please, may she be appeased.]

[aggressiveapathy]

[ If the grin is anything to go by- and the fact she, gasp, actually pauses from petting Gunther (which she paused her game to do to start with) to look at them- the boy did good. These hamsters will probably end up being mostly raised by their raccoon brethren, but that doesn't matter. They're adorable and are going to be named Mitch-bot and Old Eddie and Rick will sigh dramatically over that fact.

Ahem. Soon. For now she just reaches in to pet them with that smile.]

Miniature space hamsters. I was so just talking about these.

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[Score one for Graham! He smiles back, also having considered that they would end up mostly seen to by the furry Funky Bunch, and having decided he really didn't care too much. They'd be fine, no matter who took which duties. However it was sliced, small rodents were likely to do better in this room than anything human, and if he couldn't get a dog in a short amount of time, damn it, this was the only other choice.]

Yeah? [Don't mind him, scooting in close as he sets the bin on the ground in front of her so she can keep up her petting while the hamsters bond with their new human overlord. He's content to watch, for the time being.] With who?

[aggressiveapathy]

Some chick. It doesn't matter.

[ She immediately moves to accommodate him joining the blanket party, scooting over to be pressed against him while she still plays with the cute rodents.

Her attention is very much on them as she keeps talking.]

Have you...mm. Had the skrull effect yet?

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[Well, if April's going to fully bridge any gaps, Wil's going to slip an arm around her, finally reaching out to run one finger over the head of the hamster she's not currently giving full attention. He...definitely noticed her conversation with the guy who got him to go through his musical selections, but that could mean more than a few things, couldn't it? He has no idea what a skrull is.]

Maybe. What's the skrull effect?

[Young Hannibal Lecter with an extra finger and Dana Scully. Which one is it, exactly?]

[aggressiveapathy]

Skrulls. They're like...plastic surgery steroids. Look like whoever they want to. Sound like them. Taste like them, maybe. I don't know. It's gross. Totally a problem last universe. People got cut up and locked up. It was...mm.

[ Entertaining, crazy, terrifying? All of that. Much better to put all the emotion into petting the hamster instead of thinking too hard about what she's saying. ]

But it just happens sometimes, I guess. The porter just likes people that look the same. No aliens needed.

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[People got cut up and locked up is the only part of this explanation that gets a visible reaction—one eyebrow goes up, that's all. He's been here long enough to expect the absurd, but why does it have to be combined with that?]

There's one woman here who looks like...a younger someone else. Her hair's shorter, red instead of blonde, but everything else, looks-wise, matches up. [A younger someone else that Will isn't extremely attached to, that's part of the difference. Hamster fur between its ears gets ruffled in a way that looks like a fuzzy mohawk, almost idly.] Who's the guitar grump look like?

[aggressiveapathy]

Old boyfriend.

[ Hamsters are still carefully not throw onto the ground but, because verbalizing the complications with that clarification are hard, April is very much more forcefully pressed against Will. There. Way easier than talking.]

It's- stupid. It's not even the-Andy-skrull-thing.

[ Falsehood. It was a little that it was Andy. But just a little (and maybe a little more). But mostly it was the thinking, for a whole second, that just maybe someone from home she liked even a little about had been there.]

It's...god, you won't get it. And it doesn't even matter. The porter's just a jerk.

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[Old boyfriend. Oh hell. April had been so convinced the Porter avoided her home at all turns that Will had bought into it as well. If there were any old boyfriends among the imPort population, he was unaware of it. There was a difference between an old boyfriend from home and one from here, though. It catches him off guard, but as long as April's going to physically keep herself up against him, he doesn't yet see a reason to discourage that.

Or a reason to call out what he perceives as some serious bullshit. Talking about feelings isn't exactly his favorite thing to do, either. No need to force April to share more than she wants to, even if he's a damn good candidate for being able to share much more than she's giving out, empathetic sponge that he is and all.]

Jerk's a kind word for it. [He's looking at the hamster and its recurring mohawk as he speaks. April's never struck him as the type who wants to be stared at intensely when emotional turmoil strikes, so he keeps his eyes away for the time being. His fingers tighten around her and he does tilt his head enough to brush up against hers, but no direct visual attention.] Is there anything I can do?

[aggressiveapathy]

You brought hamsters.

[ Duh, Will. And she tilts her head right back, letting out a sigh. She was convinced she was right- Will had a million and one people he knew crawling around here. Even if they were evil psycho-fan boys they were still from the same reality. Proof it was there.

But freaking Andy. Of all the skrull-lites to bring in. What was up with that? ]

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[The hamsters were a bigger hit than he'd expected. Clearly, he should stow that one away for later, provided the two staring out didn't end up filling their chosen container with more adorable hamsters. The charm could get lost, and that would work in no one's favor.

He huffs, nostrils flared, in place of a laugh, the typical, joyless fare.]

The ugly dog I've been looking at off and on would've taken too long to process. [Thus: hamsters.] I'll pick him up later, if you really want another dog. Don't think he's going anywhere anytime soon.

[Because Will totally doesn't want another dog, it's totally up to April if they get another one, he has no strong feelings either way.

(Bullshit.)]

[aggressiveapathy]

[their life.

April spends another long moment cooing over the hamsters. Living with strange new people was weird. Not bad or whatever. But weird. And the idea of replacing them all with ugly, stupid dogs...]

We're gonna need a bigger house. For the five dogs and ten more raccoons and five million tiny rodents.

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[The most charmed and happiest life ever.

He's quiet, too quiet, thinking it over as his eyes seem to take in nothing, even as he scratches a tiny rodent's chin. A smile hits, the spread slow and steady and neither inhuman in its evil nor human in its joy. Someone is plotting along that gray "it could be fantastic but it could also be hideous shit which is it" line.]

We could move out. [Not a bad design, and one that involves other aspects of the designing industry. They could do it, and not just move out to the bait shop.] Look around at apartments, houses or...whatever you'd prefer.

[Does Will seem like he'd care about living in a fancy trailer, because he totally wouldn't. Whatever April wants, he'll do his best to find a way to get it and he'd be more than happy to stay along for the ride.]

[aggressiveapathy]

To Transylvania?

[ Leaving Rick...was something to think about. But he was a big boy. He could just as easy move in with Mitch and finally achieve his life goal of being a 24/7 nanny. But somewhere no jerks could bother them and Grey could roam shirtless and the packs of dogs wander free with raccoons on their backs....

Well that was a distraction from Andy, alright. ]

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[Up goes an eyebrow; he'll play along. He has very few ties to this house, but he knows April's been here long enough that she has some connection to someone, to the set up, something, regardless of how apathetic she might want to be perceived as.]

No. [That's a very definite, firm no. Too serious.] That's just asking for trouble. We're already in the unending Cold War, why risk the other royal vampires coming after you?

[Don't put the human in that war, Queen of the Night, he can't be of any help. He is absolutely distressed at the idea of April going off to war with the court of vampire kings and queens, princes and princesses, burying his face in her neck with his mouth in prime biting position. Surely a lowly human graced with the presence of a great and fierce vampire ruler would never dare. Surely.]