[ Because, Will. Because that is how she gets what she wants. And she was half way through the show so, totally ignoring the fact he is clearly at work, she sits back down in front of the camera in her bra and sleeping shorts alone. ]
It's Thanksgiving, Will. It's supposed to be miserable. That's why everyone tries to kill themselves in Walmart the next day. Because dying in the shittiest place on Earth is better than living to see another Thanksgiving.
...they will distract him for approximately 1 second.
Oh, there goes the face. The face that seems to agree for a split second, you got me there, shit, I didn't think about it like that, you're a genius. The one that, at least, Mike Parker knows is followed by something from the tumultuous waters of Smartass.]
Everyone tries to kill themselves in Walmart the next day because they're stuck on material goods at lower prices despite having spent the day before talking about how they're thankful for what they have and don't need anything else. [People are hypocrites and love to spend money they don't need to if they can get away with it. Dogs are the way to go.] So your motive behind celebrating the misery is hailing a bloodbath on the horizon, is that it?
[He could not sound less like he believes what he's saying if he tried.]
[He sits on the futon, which is the epitome of secondhand store and looks about as comfortable to sleep on as asphalt. Eyebrows knit together and he frowns, which highlights the fact of the matter that Will? Has not shaved recently.]
I did not. [His nose wrinkles, the frown gets worse. God. Human faces should not look this miserable.] Maybe she heard me talking to you in my room... [Miserable.] ...smelled a woman on me when I came back after a weekend and put two and two together.
[Fucking vampires. Back to normal human face, it's like art. Living trash art!]
I'm okay with telling people now, though. If you want to, I—the reason I was so adamant to keep us under wraps isn't here anymore.
[Even if Hannibal Lecter getting his ass kicked by raccoons would have been amazing, he's sure there would be a casualty involved and he doesn't need another death at his feet. The miasma of shit and blood and suffering that follows Baltimore when Lecter is around has been removed. What can go wrong?]
[ Will may have the misery part of this chat down, but April taking the lead when it comes to dissapointed. She's not angry, Will. Just that other word. The direct way his blood sucking roomie had stated it made it sound like Will was actively sharing the news. Had been...well, a reason to go to thanksgiving. ]
Okay, I guess. I'll tell Rick I won't burn his beanie baby collection if he snitches anymore.
[ This is so not anything like the conversation she'd anticipated when first texting, but here they are. What are you going on about, Will? After all the shit she gave you about Virginia, you finally agree?]
[Running away to the mountains with Kristoff, where he'll inevitably kill something he loves because it has antlers.]
No room in your house? [People come and people go, Will's not going around the place on the weekends making sure everyone's still where they were. That question is, at least, honest. Uncertain, which is why he follows it with:] No room in your room?
[Virginia is great but this is not his Virginia and April is better than this Virginia.]
[It's difficult to not return that, smile back like a normal person. If something happens, if there's an argument, he'll just go hang out in Abigail's room. That's healthy parenting, isn't it?]
I'll start boxing up what I have when I get back from work tonight, in that case.
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It's Thanksgiving, Will. It's supposed to be miserable. That's why everyone tries to kill themselves in Walmart the next day. Because dying in the shittiest place on Earth is better than living to see another Thanksgiving.
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...they will distract him for approximately 1 second.
Oh, there goes the face. The face that seems to agree for a split second, you got me there, shit, I didn't think about it like that, you're a genius. The one that, at least, Mike Parker knows is followed by something from the tumultuous waters of Smartass.]
Everyone tries to kill themselves in Walmart the next day because they're stuck on material goods at lower prices despite having spent the day before talking about how they're thankful for what they have and don't need anything else. [People are hypocrites and love to spend money they don't need to if they can get away with it. Dogs are the way to go.] So your motive behind celebrating the misery is hailing a bloodbath on the horizon, is that it?
[He could not sound less like he believes what he's saying if he tried.]
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[ It doesn't matter, bro. Empty promises and fake motives are the core of the holiday experience. ]
But you told them we were dating.
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I did not. [His nose wrinkles, the frown gets worse. God. Human faces should not look this miserable.] Maybe she heard me talking to you in my room... [Miserable.] ...smelled a woman on me when I came back after a weekend and put two and two together.
[Fucking vampires. Back to normal human face, it's like art. Living trash art!]
I'm okay with telling people now, though. If you want to, I—the reason I was so adamant to keep us under wraps isn't here anymore.
[Even if Hannibal Lecter getting his ass kicked by raccoons would have been amazing, he's sure there would be a casualty involved and he doesn't need another death at his feet. The miasma of shit and blood and suffering that follows Baltimore when Lecter is around has been removed. What can go wrong?]
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[ Will may have the misery part of this chat down, but April taking the lead when it comes to dissapointed. She's not angry, Will. Just that other word. The direct way his blood sucking roomie had stated it made it sound like Will was actively sharing the news. Had been...well, a reason to go to thanksgiving. ]
Okay, I guess. I'll tell Rick I won't burn his beanie baby collection if he snitches anymore.
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Don't burn beanie babies in the first place. They'll be valuable someday. [To a daycare...or cat people...] Guessing isn't the same as knowing, April.
[Because he's probably not allowed to say "I need a straight answer" when he's him, is he.]
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What if I didn't? [Didn't what, eat a coyote? No.] What if I didn't live there anymore when Thanksgiving came around?
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[ This is so not anything like the conversation she'd anticipated when first texting, but here they are. What are you going on about, Will? After all the shit she gave you about Virginia, you finally agree?]
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No room in your house? [People come and people go, Will's not going around the place on the weekends making sure everyone's still where they were. That question is, at least, honest. Uncertain, which is why he follows it with:] No room in your room?
[Virginia is great but this is not his Virginia and April is better than this Virginia.]
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[ Seriously, Will. If talk of moving in is just a tactic to dodge thanksgiving conversations, she is not impressed. ]
And thanksgiving totally happens in Florida.
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[It's like when someone tries to be a vegetarian and after a few weeks and a relationship later they realize, wow, they made a huge misteak.
Heheheh.]
Thanksgiving in Florida isn't Thanksgiving in Virginia. I'd be fine with that.
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[ April will not be asking permission for him to move in. That is other people problems. But she apparently has no objections to this plan.]
But we should still do both Thanksgivings. And leave the Virginia one in a cloud of drama and alcohol that you never go back there from.
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Fine. We'll do that. I'll talk to the roommates and after we have the cloud of drama and alcohol, I'll be out of there.
[As long as April doesn't try to get him to play Battle Royale with her old boyfriends, this can't be so bad.]
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But she is pleased with this news. A beaming, bra clad April. ]
Deal.
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I'll start boxing up what I have when I get back from work tonight, in that case.
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[ Because fitting his stuff in with hers will be more of a raccoon job, in her mind. It's time to just get back into PJs]
Except finish this stupid level.
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...eventually...
...maybe...]
Go get 'em, Tiger.
[Never let it be said he's not supportive.]