infomodder | IC contact [Mask or Menace]

I haven't called you a psychopath in months
allow me this little bit of gloating

remind me to teach you how to physically shoot yourself in the foot we had to do it in training when i was a cop take pepper spray in the eyes, get tased, shoot ourselves in the foot to know what it was like on the receiving end part of the process no need to look it up you can trust me i was a cop wear flip flops don't want pieces of your heels getting stuck in the wound

blah blah blah
i'll stop making fun of you and your jailbait girlfriend
does that make you happy?

what kind of question is that don't ask me questions like that

[One that most people can give a straightforward answer to but Will Graham is just thinking of therapy and people trying to get in his head and, as such, no answer.]

you probably shouldn't make fun of April she's in Ace's house (one of the files you leaked) and one of her powers is actually rather frightening btw do you have an "alias" here

[Smooth like frozen butter in brick form.]

yeah, when the porter asked for one I said "tattlecrime"

[ obviousness: thy name is Freddie ]

does it matter?

[It's okay, his isn't much better.]

yeah thinking if people won't shut up about how much you fucked them over i lost my job because of freddie lounds freddie lounds is an evil person with no heart bullshit that's been all over lately someone should be able to release your file satiate the hypocritical frothing masses if they look closer to biting and that was the missing piece thanks

there's not much of interest in my file
I'd be fine with them releasing it

[ sure, it would be confirmation of that one power she's trying to hide from everybody as well as releasing the knowledge that she and Jayden live together...but at the same time, it would be releasing the knowledge that they live with a MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAUR. ]

LOUNDS, FREDDIE [alias: Tattlecrime] RESIDENCE: Heropa 012 [see: ETC] POWERS: Turning things to leopard print, murder "sensing" which results in headaches. MEDICAL HISTORY: Nothing outside the normal. Carries a plague known as "Vegetarianism" (the opposite of contagious) NOTES: Ran Tattlecrime in her home world, a website dedicated to reporting on murder and murderers, known for having the "first" scoop and gory pictures. Sued for libel multiple times; settled every time. Has perfected the art of getting law enforcement workers unfairly fired. Currently working at not getting killed by superpowered individuals.

[He actually wouldn't ever release the names associated with her that don't stem from Baltimore, but fucking dinosaurs? That's so tempting.]

GRAHAM, WILL [alias: whatever it is, will look it up later]
RESIDENCE: De Chima 003 [see: ETC] as well as let's be real, you live at the bait shop now
POWERS: Repairing cups.
MEDICAL HISTORY: Has fleas.
NOTES: Known as the FBI's pet psychopath by reputed source Tattlecrime, often brought out onto crime scenes to get into the mind of killers, has terrible choice in psychiatrists.

and it was six times, not multiple. Multiple sounds like it would be something like ten.

[There's a moment's pause before he shoots off:]

GRAHAM, WILL [alias: Wolf Trap]

[Just that. But then the one that follows, oh. Oh, terrible choice in psychiatrists and they do rub off on him, don't they?]

I can tally up how many people asked for your file and use that as justification or if the heat gets bad enough we could pull this off we could do this

[Saul ain't got shit on the horrifying trainwreck that is getting these two together and, seemingly, at each other's throats.

Unless he's doing divorce court, then maybe.]

glad to know we're both equally unimaginative in our choices of names.

[ but they could seriously pull this off. Freddie vs. Will, just like old times. ]

does chasing off somebody who was creeping under your windowsill count as bad enough?
also, some kids keyed my car but joke's on them, the thing's a pice of shit anyway [ it's just now a piece of shit with a dick on it. ]

the lack of imagination might work in our favor more than against it

[Because they're personal in a materialistic way and, to an outsider, pretty Goddamn boring. Who hides behind the name of their website, the name of their town? Boring people from a boring world that nobody needs to pay too much mind to? He can already hear replies to the idea of Freddie's, and it saddens him that the voice of reason he's seeking among them ends up belonging to a teenage girl who is a sponge with a spine and a damn fine brain.

Hrm.]

that does count as pretty bad. you're not the only person living in that house. if people are going to complain about getting shit on while targeting you at a shared house, they're not doing a very good job of proving themselves the better person here. that's just bad heroism. put up a sign about the dinosaur? i've thought about breaking into your place once or twice but there's a goddamn dinosaur put one on your car too who wants to piss off a dinosaur??

[If the sign doesn't put them off, she can always offer them an alcoholic beverage with a tablet crushed into it. No one will figure it out!]

Edited 2014-11-16 13:06 (UTC)

you know, at times like this I am so thankful for that goddamn dinosaur
even if he keeps calling me a mammal

[ and ngl, literally like 50% of the reason why Freddie's so confident that nobody will kill her/fuck her shit up is because she lives with a dinosaur, do you want to mess with that? even if the dinosaur probably wouldn't do anything. and wouldn't listen to her in the first place. it's still a dinosaur. ]

i'm sure I can find some arts major to make me a beware of dinosaur sign.

if you have them do the font in comic sans i hear it'll really help repel people

[From Skye. He's not saying that much, though. Nope.]

i'm going to have to clue Abigail in on this so she doesn't butt in thinking we're being sincere and come up with something to go before and after does "i'm open to further questions but if you ask a question i have answered twice already in public view you are getting ignored" sound approachable

[No. No it does not. He knows. He does admire Freddie's ability to deal with so many people, truly. She ruins lives and makes a living off ruining the memories of the murdered and yet she can still talk to people with more grace than him?

Or maybe she just likes talking (the sound of her voice or socialization in general?) more than he does, which is it.]

if you're cluing in Abigail, then I'm cluing in Jayden. [ because she has absolutely no faith in his dumb decisions and doesn't want to explain the whole 'here's why Aunt Freddie and Uncle Will are fighting despite the fact that Aunt Freddie trusts Uncle Will enough to totally drug her kid.'

the rest of Baltimore crew could think whatever the hell they wanted. it's not like Freddie & Will fighting is a NEW development. ]

and that last statement sounds like you're forced into doing it. you could stand to be a bit nicer.

[nO]

don't tell Jayden yet. we had a bit of an argument. he might actually be on "your side" and you could use that. Jayden can come in and say whatever he wants about either of us and it won't be anywhere near what Abigail could say. Abigail knows who did what and what happened because of who. Jayden doesn't know about mushroom gardens made of people or how that led to nearly being kidnapped while in a coma and even if he did it didn't happen to him. he'd be better off keeping his mouth shut about it if he DID know. if we do this and he chimes in and goes overboard, privately tell him. Abigail's the only one who could trip us up at this point. what are Chilton and Gideon going to add that can do any damage?

[Nicer................]

i'll come up with something nicer.

[ GEEZ LOUISE, WILL that is some tl;dr, especially from you. ]

fine then. I'll keep my mouth shut about this. just know that he might not like you too much after our spat

[Missing all the creepy crappy metaphors about death and its suffocation and ghosts dancing in dust like fumes from a car in the cold winter of Mother Russia's ass. He's serious about this.]

Jayden can not like me all he wants not gonna lose any sleep over people not liking me haven't done it before not starting now it'll be fine

[Because he loses sleep over everything else, if he lost sleep because someone thought he was a fartface he would have died from exhaustion or overexposure to Red Bull.]

if you say so.
you're still gonna have to deal with him considering i think him and abigail are dating again.

[ does Will actually think about stuff like that? WHO KNOWS. ]

[Stiles why you gotta be faithful and listen to Skye. Why.]

thank you for giving me the reason i did not need to drink more than usual tonight i appreciate it

we deal with teenagers on a regular basis.
drinking is to be expected.

exactly

[Spoilers: Will's budding alcoholism has more to do with Hannibal Lecter being a piece of shit than anything else but even typing his name is a pain in the ass so.

Blame the children. They are the future and need to learn that they won't be coddled. Just blamed for everything and possibly put in prison for shit they totally never did and

projection drinking!]

IC contact [Mask or Menace]

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