IC contact [Mask or Menace]

[infomodder]

"Gone fishing."

[ so don't leave messages to ruin the after fishing glow !!!

your one stop shop for not leaving him alone ]

Comments

text;

[redhairring]

Not dead. [ obviously. ]

btw I found a wolf kid for you to adopt
and your gf invited me to thanksgiving dinner [ by gf she means Bader, oh the comic misunderstandings this will ensue ]

[infomodder]

Hi Not dead, I'm Will.

[Dad humor does not extend only to Abigail. Imagine the horror of his actual girlfriend, Freddie.]

Is the wolf kid potty trained
what are you talking about I'm with her right now and we haven't discussed Thanksgiving at all

[redhairring]

pretend that you can see me rolling my eyes at you through the text
but yeah, fairly certain the wolf kid is potty trained. He's got this thing where he can look like a human
and what are you talking about, she shot me a text a few days ago

[infomodder]

trust me, i am
the one that set free all the dogs because they were getting neutered?
my gf is April Ludgate and her communicator is under the bed i'm on
do i need to check
are you calling her a liar

[redhairring]

I guess so? I don't know for sure.
nooo
your gf is Bader

[infomodder]

no
my roommate who i initially moved to virginia with
is Bader
my girlfriend who i spend weekends in heropa for
is April
that's a reality i've never questioned so you can quit trying to insist otherwise

[redhairring]

isn't April like 16?
cradle robber

[ have crushes on people who are actually your age (or probably older in Freddie's case) GOSH. ]

[infomodder]

No. She is not "like 16"
She is 24.

[And Will is 38 and if he only knew about Zeller he would be capable of slinging that in her face. Alas.]

[redhairring]

Oh my god
you could be her dad.
At least with the guys I'm trying to flirt with, none of them are old enough to be my dad.

1/3

[infomodder]

i would not have been a father at 14
just because you can biologically be a parent doesn't mean it would happen
need a partner for that

[read: i was as sad and lonely as a teenager as i was when you met me :)]

2/3

[infomodder]

it's not something you really ask people on the network anyway
have you seen anyone randomly putting an a/s/l in their conversations
i haven't
not acceptable
and we talked through text for the most part at first

[infomodder]

if i was real fbi maybe i'd have done a background check first
but
i'm not and i don't care to

[redhairring]

tl;dr I didn't realize she was a baby until we started flirting and won't admit that I fucked up

[infomodder]

if this is REALLY SUCH A FUCK UP because of the age gap
i want to change all my fuck ups to be more like this
everyone should get the chance to fuck up like this
as opposed to
you know
my usual fuck ups
that i'm sure you wrote about

[redhairring]

I haven't called you a psychopath in months
allow me this little bit of gloating

[infomodder]

remind me to teach you how to physically shoot yourself in the foot
we had to do it in training when i was a cop
take pepper spray in the eyes, get tased, shoot ourselves in the foot
to know what it was like on the receiving end
part of the process
no need to look it up
you can trust me
i was a cop
wear flip flops don't want pieces of your heels getting stuck in the wound

[redhairring]

blah blah blah
i'll stop making fun of you and your jailbait girlfriend
does that make you happy?

[infomodder]

what kind of question is that
don't ask me questions like that

[One that most people can give a straightforward answer to but Will Graham is just thinking of therapy and people trying to get in his head and, as such, no answer.]

you probably shouldn't make fun of April
she's in Ace's house
(one of the files you leaked)
and one of her powers is actually rather frightening
btw do you have an "alias" here

[Smooth like frozen butter in brick form.]

[redhairring]

yeah, when the porter asked for one I said "tattlecrime"

[ obviousness: thy name is Freddie ]

does it matter?

[infomodder]

[It's okay, his isn't much better.]

yeah
thinking if people won't shut up about how much you fucked them over
i lost my job because of freddie lounds
freddie lounds is an evil person with no heart
bullshit that's been all over lately
someone should be able to release your file
satiate the hypocritical frothing masses if they look closer to biting
and
that was the missing piece
thanks

[redhairring]

there's not much of interest in my file
I'd be fine with them releasing it

[ sure, it would be confirmation of that one power she's trying to hide from everybody as well as releasing the knowledge that she and Jayden live together...but at the same time, it would be releasing the knowledge that they live with a MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAUR. ]

[infomodder]

LOUNDS, FREDDIE [alias: Tattlecrime]
RESIDENCE: Heropa 012 [see: ETC]
POWERS: Turning things to leopard print, murder "sensing" which results in headaches.
MEDICAL HISTORY: Nothing outside the normal. Carries a plague known as "Vegetarianism" (the opposite of contagious)
NOTES: Ran Tattlecrime in her home world, a website dedicated to reporting on murder and murderers, known for having the "first" scoop and gory pictures. Sued for libel multiple times; settled every time. Has perfected the art of getting law enforcement workers unfairly fired. Currently working at not getting killed by superpowered individuals.

[He actually wouldn't ever release the names associated with her that don't stem from Baltimore, but fucking dinosaurs? That's so tempting.]

[redhairring]

GRAHAM, WILL [alias: whatever it is, will look it up later]
RESIDENCE: De Chima 003 [see: ETC] as well as let's be real, you live at the bait shop now
POWERS: Repairing cups.
MEDICAL HISTORY: Has fleas.
NOTES: Known as the FBI's pet psychopath by reputed source Tattlecrime, often brought out onto crime scenes to get into the mind of killers, has terrible choice in psychiatrists.

and it was six times, not multiple. Multiple sounds like it would be something like ten.

[infomodder]

[There's a moment's pause before he shoots off:]

GRAHAM, WILL [alias: Wolf Trap]

[Just that. But then the one that follows, oh. Oh, terrible choice in psychiatrists and they do rub off on him, don't they?]

I can tally up how many people asked for your file
and use that as justification
or if the heat gets bad enough
we could pull this off
we could do this

[Saul ain't got shit on the horrifying trainwreck that is getting these two together and, seemingly, at each other's throats.

Unless he's doing divorce court, then maybe.]

[redhairring]

glad to know we're both equally unimaginative in our choices of names.

[ but they could seriously pull this off. Freddie vs. Will, just like old times. ]

does chasing off somebody who was creeping under your windowsill count as bad enough?
also, some kids keyed my car but joke's on them, the thing's a pice of shit anyway [ it's just now a piece of shit with a dick on it. ]