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infomodder) wrote2016-04-14 08:35 pm
infomodder) wrote2016-04-14 08:35 pm
Entry tags:
IC contact [Mask or Menace]
"Gone fishing."
[ so don't leave messages to ruin the after fishing glow !!!
your one stop shop for not leaving him alone ]
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Running back to the state where your father murdered girls who looked like you and then murdered your mother and then tried to murder you and the Chesapeake Ripper cut off your ear because you're upset about something you just, yourself, described as nice is not an extreme reaction and has nothing to do with guilt.
[Sometimes people are force fed ears. Sometimes they are force fed their own words. One is preferable to the other, isn't it? And at least Will is not the dad who would take to Jayden in the same way Abigail took to the young, deceased Mister Boyle.]
What am I not supposed to be minding here?
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Why.
You're being a jerk.
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[So he can, perhaps, be a jerk more accurately. Everyone wants that. It's what they pay him for.
Well, not really. But he gets away with it. Along with murder, in some ways. Throw him a freaking bone, Abigail.]
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It didn't go well.
Because Jayden is normal and reacts normally when fucked up shit is right in his face.
[ oh swears. look how phenomenally upset she is, she can't figure out another way to explain that isn't laced with profanity. but she also doesn't blame jayden for reacting. she just hates that she let herself get caught off guard and she really hates that she cared enough that it hurt, tremendously ashamed of her own perceived stupidity. karma sure knew how to hit where it hurt. ]
I was stupid enough to think it stopped mattering. That pretty girls don't actually have to worry about ears.
I don't want to be near people because people look at me like I'm a freak. Or purposely avoid looking at my scars like they can pretend I'm not grotesque.
Like they can pretend I'm whole.
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Your not having an ear is not fucked up shit, Abigail. How you came to be missing it is the part that is fucked up shit.
[There is a difference between someone who was born without or had to give up an ear, an arm, legs, whatever else due to accident or disease and someone had had it taken from them. He hasn't taken the time to focus on the wound, but he saw the ear loud and clear. He knows it was cut off. He knows that if someone got close enough, they'd be able to tell that it wasn't, well. Congenital or gotten rid of due to real need. Where's Miriam Lass when you need her.
(Will doesn't know but THERE WAS NEVER A BODY and that arm was fresh stop being so bullheaded Jack)]
Just because someone looks at you like a freak doesn't mean you are a freak. What people look at you as doesn't reflect who you are. In fact, it does a damn good job at reflecting them as much as you might think it reflects you. And if your desire here is to get away from people on the whole, just under $500 isn't going to help you do that.
You want to get away for a while, fine. Have a vacation, okay. But you're going to have to come back to society at some point, and if you're not using that vacation to help develop coping skills and mechanisms, this is never going to get any better.
You can make it a goal to repeat a vicious cycle and grow stagnant during it as much as you want.
But I'm going to shoot that down every time.
[Maybe he doesn't say "no" as much as he should, but he'll strive to make sure that he says what needs to be said in the place of it. Lecter might be better at coddling and cooing than Will is, but...Will is also not going to slaughter Abigail and anyone she has attachments to because he's a maliciously curious fucktruck who never learned how to share in the sandbox.
They're different levels of jerk, okay.]
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[ SHE NOTICES THIS SHIT OKAY. she can't help it. ]
It doesn't matter.
Jayden freaked out, justifiably, and all I could see was Nicholas Boyle.
I want to go home because I don't feel safe around people right now and Blomington has a heck of a lot less.
I just want to be alone and I can't be alone here.
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[His memory's good when it's not being manipulated. And the last part of Abigail Hobbs he saw was that ear, why would he go out of his way to focus on the spot where it was when he can focus on, oh, everything else? On her pale eyes, on the way her hair falls around her face, on the fact of the matter that her chest rises and falls because she's breathing, because she's alive. He notices that she favors the scarf he gave her, of course, but it's not the focal point.
She is.]
You're not going home because your home isn't here. Neither is mine. Or Freddie's. Or Jayden's or anyone else's.
But if you feel so unsafe around everyone that you're thinking of Nicholas Boyle and your immediate decision is to throw yourself into the place you grew up that's not what you know and you'll have to deal with complete strangers? I'm going to have to close my wallet off to that one.
You're registered. You can use the same traveling advancements I do. Why not take a day or two off at Maurtia Falls? I've heard nothing but that it's discreet. You can be alone there. I'll fund something like that.
[She can discreetly kill ppl.]
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I don't have a home anymore. If I go back, I die.
Whatever. I'll send you a post card.
[ bye felicia. ]
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[Everyone is a jerk, the show.]
I didn't realize you thought I was a doormat.
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This is all I have.
So you think I'm running away and I am, but not the way that you think.
I'm not running away to something familiar.
THIS is my home now and I can't contextualize Minnesota as anything but my home until I see that it's not. But it's still the last place I saw my mom or Marissa and I miss them. I need them and this is as close as I can get anymore.
You're not a doormat. If I wanted a doormat, I would have asked Hannibal.
[ oh. snap. but lbr he was always pro-bringing abigail home. ]
I just thought
You'd get it.
But no one does.
And that's okay.
Don't be mad at Jayden, it's not his fault.
Bye.
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You're being stupid.
[SHE SAID HE COULD SAY IT ALANA WOULD APPROVE. No she wouldn't. It is a last ditch effort and very little effort has gone into it, or so it seems. He actually wrote out fifteen other things first and finally gave up. How to get a teenager's attention other than fall down to that level????? Jesus Christ. He actually doesn't think this is stupid but he also realizes that the more he tries to explain anything the more he's probably going to get shut down further because Abigail is upset and not thinking clearly and continually proving it.
Especially with the Hannibal shout-out.
If she dares to go off the grid for too long, Will is not at all afraid to call in a few favors and drag her kicking and screaming out of her hermit cave.]
1/2
because she's being over emotional and stupid.
but don't worry... ]
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surprise??? ]
I'm back.
[ siren call of her crush on stiles combined with never ending self-loathing because ofc she'll come home to hang out with stiles even though he has a girlfriend apparently so abigail is shit out of luck. ]
It's a cemetery from my house to Marissa's.
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Things not to ask.]
Is it a nice one?
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[ this has not changed, actually. the guilt complex is so strong with this one. ]
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[Picking up on other people's feelings, the life.
Though Abigail doesn't exactly make it very difficult.]
Where are you now? Heropa housing?
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[ not incredibly keen on leaving. ever. except she came back to do a halloween thing with stiles. because that's totally helping her sort shit out. ]
Ziggy Stardust hates the Porter.
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[His dog doesn't hate the Porter, Will is not fooled at all.]
Know a couple of raccoons who ride Porter trips out better than I do. The more exposure to it, the more it'll become unremarkable and Ziggy won't even blink.
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[ or alternatively: cat lady hermit. ]
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[he's at a loss, is that obvious.]
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Stiles left.
That's why I kissed Jayden.
[ here's your context apropos of nothing, as always. ]
He came back.
He has a girlfriend back home.
He said Skye said that counts as cheating.
So.
That's over.
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I didn't realize Skye was an authority figure on relationships.
[Which sounds insulting as fuck, he realizes shortly after he sends it. So the next few texts just flood right in.]
I mean, if that's he he feels about the situation himself, it's good he'll stand up for it.
That he's sticking with her even in a different world.
It's not a bad thing.
I wasn't trying to insult either of them with that.
These things happen.
Can't control it.
You've probably never had any boyfriends before, right?
This isn't actually abnormal.
The different worlds part isn't what we're used to, of course, but the situation as it stands isn't so strange.
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[ /literally cries about it. ]
It just
Sucks.
I thought I had something nice and then it was just gone.
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