[What we he do? More like what wouldn't he do. He doesn't know what sort of state he'll be when he goes back, doesn't know how things will work out. He knows the doctor he'll be under (what a thought) isn't so ethical, and he could only fight so much. There would have to be compromise at some point. And, if things got out of control more than they already were, what would he do to get it all back? How much would he be willing to let go of himself, what sort of "therapy" would he allow if it just
never
ended?]
I would do anything I had to. [He's going to opt out of talking about how he'd eventually accept drug treatments, would accept things being run through his system to find parts of his mind that were taken away from him. That he might just end up letting himself be strapped into a chair while questionable substances are used to see what's in there, staring at flashing lights for hours, hypnosis—God, no, the more he thinks about it? The more he would, in fact, do anything to remember it.] Maybe I'd lose a boring day where I'd just eaten and gone to work and nothing out of the ordinary happened. But I might have lost one where something very important did. It's worth doing whatever it takes and remembering ten regular days to get to the ones that were "worth" all of it because of what I found out.
[How many times he lost what was going on, he doesn't know. Months of working through boring memories, and finally getting one of Abigail? Or Lecter?
no subject
never
ended?]
I would do anything I had to. [He's going to opt out of talking about how he'd eventually accept drug treatments, would accept things being run through his system to find parts of his mind that were taken away from him. That he might just end up letting himself be strapped into a chair while questionable substances are used to see what's in there, staring at flashing lights for hours, hypnosis—God, no, the more he thinks about it? The more he would, in fact, do anything to remember it.] Maybe I'd lose a boring day where I'd just eaten and gone to work and nothing out of the ordinary happened. But I might have lost one where something very important did. It's worth doing whatever it takes and remembering ten regular days to get to the ones that were "worth" all of it because of what I found out.
[How many times he lost what was going on, he doesn't know. Months of working through boring memories, and finally getting one of Abigail? Or Lecter?
He'd do it.]