IC contact [Mask or Menace]

[infomodder]

"Gone fishing."

[ so don't leave messages to ruin the after fishing glow !!!

your one stop shop for not leaving him alone ]

Comments

[brushoff]

[ on the one hand, Dorian knows that there's no way in hell he'd be able to get the bloodstains out of the couch by himself.
on the other hand, he's giving Will the blood and sex couch. does he really wanna do that to poor april ]

why yes will, i'd be more than happy to gift you a used couch.
just ftr when it's your actual birthday i'll do SO much better

[ sorry Will ]

[infomodder]

[blood and sex couch, the newest album by lady gaga]

i can come get it saturday if that's good for you
and my birthday is december 25 so you have a while to figure out something better
or forget it completely

[brushoff]

good with me! i'll at least be nice enough to try and get it close to the door
and i'll pencil it in on my calendar.
(mine's november 8 btw)

[infomodder]

that's so thoughtful of you, i appreciate it
and you can tell me where the blood came from in the first place
(kind of surprised you remember fyi)

[brushoff]

[ TIME TO LIE ]

I was watching a friend's dog. dog lost his shit when some people had a party in the parking lot. dog bust a window open with his nose and decided the best way to make his nose stop bleeding was to rub it all over the couch and then sleep on it
needless to say i am never watching that fucking dog again

[infomodder]

[ABOUT INJURED DOGS? TO WILL GRAHAM? DORIAN WHY]

the dog's gonna be all right though isn't he?

[brushoff]

[ FEEL SYMPATHY FOR THE DOG MAYBE??? ]

dog's fine. when i came home, he'd licked his nose enough that it wasn't bleeding anymore

[infomodder]

[PROTECT THIS DOG AT ALL COSTS

ends up dead on hannibal's kitchen floor]

thank god
happy ending

[brushoff]

except for my couch

[ #priorities ]

really tho, thanks again for agreeing to take this couch off my hands

[infomodder]

[doge tho]

no problem
what else are on call former attendees of fbi school for

[brushoff]

and i bet this isn't the weirdest question you've had to deal with since arriving here

[infomodder]

this is one of the more normal questions i've been asked
you're right

[Thinking about it, the weirdest question he's ever had to deal with might very well have been one back home, in regards to whether or not he'd join Hannibal at the dinner table when it came to making a meal of Mason. Like, dragons and vampires and shit, fine. But eating Mason Verger?

Dude why.]

[brushoff]

part of me wants to know some of the weird questions but part of me doesn't want to know

[ not in the sense that he'd be grossed out. Dorian doesn't get grossed out. but this puts the onus of 'let me tell you or not' straight on Will. ]

[infomodder]

i used to live with a vampire who could run around as a wolf and a guy who made no secret that he was into drugs
one of our other roommates later moved her son in the house
he was 12, i think
that was a really weird series of questions from ALL sides

[WHY WOULD ANYONE BRING A CHILD INTO THAT DEN OF SIN this is what Will goes with instead of the morbid...start off slow, let Dorian decide if he wants worse, yeah?]

[brushoff]

and here i thought dio and i potentially mentally scarring the 13 year old roommate was bad.
did you have to give the 'just say no' talk to the kid?

[infomodder]

fuck no
that would be his mother's job not mine
i just went around and cleaned up so none of that stuff was easily found
messaged the other roommates about the disaster
and avoided the hell out of the house as much as i could after

[brushoff]

'btw kid don't eat the brownies
will out'
something like that?

[infomodder]

not even that much
gave mom the 411 and left it all to her
it's different when the kid is here without their parent but
when both are here?
not my place
don't wanna get into some argument about how i overstepped bounds
better to just leave it alone entirely

[brushoff]

smart thinking.
i'm sure there's some saying about parents and children that would be appropriate to say here but hell if i can remember it

[infomodder]

i'll pretend you did and it was very profound instead of something so cliche you might find it in a fortune cookie

[brushoff]

lucky numbers are 4, 12, 16, and 48.

[infomodder]

and how do i say "forest" in chinese?

[brushoff]

forest in chinese

[infomodder]

damn it i just spit out my drink
see you saturday
try not to ruin the rest of your furniture in the meantime

[brushoff]

[ victory ]

see you then.